Alive
by Poisoniic
Summary: Principal Maze was walking to his cabin with Jacob and Edward following right behind him. "What is that about?" Rosalie's voice made me look up at her. She had a worried face as she followed Edward with her eyes. "I don't know." "They got into a fight." I cocked my head and saw Jasper standing behind us. "About what?" My voice was curious. "About you."
1. Chapter 1

_You took me in and you drove me out  
Yeah, you had me hypnotized  
Lost and found and turned around  
By the fire in your eyes_

_You made me cry, you told me lies_  
_But, I can't stand to say goodbye_

xZx

"Hey, you." Rose pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. "Where's Jacob?" She asked curiously, leaning against her locker.

Rosalie was my best friend - more like a sister to me. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Although she was aggressive and a very scary person, she was my angel. Once you were her friend, she would stand solid with you. No matter what. And she would always be on my side, even if I was wrong.

She licked her lips and her piercing blue eyes bored into mine. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and put my books in my locker. "Nothing." I lied.

"Are you sure?" She laid her perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder and spun me around to face her. "Bella, your eyes are red. Have you been crying?" She looked at me worriedly.

"Jake and I got into a fight. I don't want to talk about it." I said a bit harshly.

Rosalie raised her eyebrows and pulled her hand away from my shoulder. "Okay." She bit her lip. I knew she wasn't willing to just drop it at that, but she respected me more than her curiosity. "So, I'll see you at lunch, right?" She demanded, pushing herself of her locker.

"Yup." I affirmed.

"Okay, then."

She walked away, leaving me standing there and feeling like a total ass. I felt horrible inside for being rude to her, but I really didn't want to press the issue.

I grabbed my stuff and walked to my first class – math. I hated math. I hated it. With all my heart. I just couldn't get it. When I tried to study hard, I kind of understood it but when there was a test, everything just went blank.

"Oh, Miss Swan, you decided to show up?" The teacher stated, sarcasm dripping in his tone.

I flashed him a just as fake smile before walking to my regular seat.

**Babe, are you still not talking to me? I'm sorry about yesterday -J**

I rolled my eyes and put my phone back in my pocket. I was done with his bullshit. I knew I was stupid for sticking around for far too long, but I just couldn't bring myself to end this relationship. He was everything to me. More than that. And because he meant this much to me, I forgave him for every shit he put me through.

I just hoped that this time I would be able to grow a pair to send him to hell.

"Class dismissed."

Oh thank god. I simply couldn't stand it any longer. I quickly gathered my books and stuffed them messily into my bag before rushing out of class.

The halls were filled with students and I tried to fight my way through to my next class when my phone went off again.

**Bella, don't play hard to get, we both know that's not true. -J**

I rolled my eyes again and tried to type back when my phone slipped out of my hands and onto the ground.

"Shit." I cursed and bent down to retrieve it.

**Leave me the fuck alone -B**

I tried to type while pushing my body through the sea of people when I accidentally dropped my phone again. I was getting frustrated. I opened the new message window and began to type again. Just as I was entering Jake's number, someone slammed into me again.

"Shit." I glanced up, feeling my face automatically go from perfectly normal to many shades of red. How embarrassing.

"I am so sorry." I apologized instantly, making the mistake of staring into his eyes.

"I just don't get it, Swan. You know you can't walk straight and you walk _and_ type on your phone? Are you suicidal?" He chuckled lightly.

Edward Cullen. Jerk of all jerks. But one fucking _gorgeous_ jerk I must say. His perfect bronze, sex hair and those piercing green eyes. They were so green. I had never seen a color like that. They were so mesmerizing. And the body, oh _that _was the best part; he was tall, lean, but muscular. Just simply mouth-watering.

"Swan!" I spun around to see who was calling my name. Rosalie was standing a few feet away and waving at me. "Are you coming?" She demanded, looking at me before catching sight of Edward.

I turned to look at him as well. He was still standing next to me, but he wasn't shooting daggers at me anymore. No, he was busy with his phone.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Rose.

"What was that about?"

"I bumped into him."

"Oh. Okay. Whatever."

**I don't remember bothering you. -veryconfused**

I looked at the text from the unknown sender and narrowed my eyes. Oh, I must have accidentally sent the text to a wrong number before.

**I'm sorry. I must have written the wrong number. -B**

**Thank god, I got a little scared there for a moment :D –VC**

**Don't be. If you are not stalking anyone. Are you? -B**

**HA. No, I'm not. Is someone stalking you? -VC**

**No. Just my ex-boyfriend. -B**

**Then you are a special girl if he's stalking you -VC**

**He doesn't stalk me. He just…it's complicated. -B**

"Miss Swan?" S_hit. _"What did I just say?"

"You said – Miss Swan."

"Very funny. Please pay attention to the class, not to your phone or I will have to confiscate it."

I put my phone back into my pocket and turned my attention to my stupid history teacher. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, but didn't take it.

When I walked out of the classroom, Jake was already leaning against the wall and waiting for me. I rolled my eyes and walked past him. He grabbed my hand and spun me around.

"Bella, stop fucking ignoring me. I told you I was sorry." He said.

I remember when I fell for him. He was the sexiest guy I've ever seen. He was tall, with tan skin and very muscular; his eyes were dark just like his hair and he was just adorable. But then he changed; he met these guys, started to go to parties and get drunk before ending up making out with other girls. Well, being me, I forgave him every time, hoping that it wouldn't ever happen again.

"Jake, let go of me. You are not sorry. You are only sorry because you got caught." I fumed, trying to free my hand from his grasp.

"Hey. Let her go." I looked up and my eyes were met by two blue ones.

James Hunter. Edward Cullen's best friend. Those two were practically attached to each other since diapers. Basically, they both ruled this school along with other two boys – Jasper Hale and Emmett McCartney.

James was the opposite of Edward. He was little muscular with piercing blue eyes and short, dirty blond hair and slightly taller than Edward, as well.

"Excuse me?" Jake narrowed his eyes, threateningly.

"I said, let her go. You're obviously hurting her." James pointed at my hand.

"Just go and mind your own business." Jake said, turning away from him and focusing his attention back on me.

"I'm telling you one last time. Let the girl go."


	2. Chapter 2

_Somebody turn the lights on_

_Somebody tell me what's wrong_

_I'd be lying if I told you_

_Losing you was something I could handle_

_I'm burning out now_

_I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired_

"Are you okay?" James asked, taking a step closer.

Jake refused to let go of my hand so James forcefully made him do it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." I gave him a weak smile and he nodded.

"Well, if he ever bothers you again, you just tell me, doll, okay?"

I narrowed my eyes, but nodded anyway. James gave me a small smile and started walking away, waving once at me. I stood there bewildered over the fact that he was actually being nice to me. It wasn't like he had been a jerk to me before, but we had never actually talked to each other.

I decided to stop over analyzing everything and just stick with the fact that maybe he was simply a nice guy.

When it was time for lunch, I went to look for Rosalie, only to find her talking with some guy. With not just _some_ guy, with Emmett McCartney. I stood there awkwardly, a few feet away from them, waiting for Rose to acknowledge my presence.

"Oh, Bella! You're here." She flashed me a serene smile. "Bella, Emmett just asked us to join at him at his table for lunch. What do you say?" She offered, biting her lip.

I chuckled in my head. Rose liked this guy. "Sure. Why not?" I agreed, linking arms with her.

"Great." Emmett smiled easily and pushed the cafeteria doors open.

Once we grabbed our lunch, Emmett walked us to his table which he shared with James, Edward and Jasper Hale. Jasper was Rosalie's twin brother so I knew him better out of the three boys. He was tall and lean, just like Edward and with pretty, blond hair and piercing blue eyes, just like Rosalie's.

"Hey, guys?" Jasper said eyeing us.

"I invited them." Emmett stated and Jasper nodded with smile, still looking a little suspicious.

"Oh, hey, Bella. How is your arm?" James asked as he pulled out a chair for me, before sitting down himself.

"It's fine." I smiled, rubbing it absently as I sat down.

"That's good." He smiled at me. "He's a jerk, you know."

"What happened to your arm?" Rosalie asked curiously, eyeing James and I.

"Her boyfriend, I assume, got a little handy." He stated, causing Rosalie to gasp.

"Bells, are you okay?" She demanded, automatically leaning closer to me.

Now everyone's eyes were on me. I rolled mine and sighed. "I'm fine. He just lost his temper. It's nothing." I tried to calm her down. I knew how Rosalie could get.

"Okay." She relented, pulling away but I knew this conversation was far from over.

"Yeah. I was there to help her out." James grinned, nudging my side.

"So, Jasper, how come you never invited these pretty ladies to sit with us before? Thank god I got paired up with Rose, otherwise I would have never known how cool she is." Emmett winked at Rosalie causing her blush.

I gasped. She never blushed so it probably meant that she really liked him.

"Because, these two ladies turned me down whenever they got a chance. And when they needed someone to drive their drunken asses home, they suddenly know my name." Jasper explained with a smirk.

"Whatever, Jas." Rosalie said waving him off. "We always pay you back whenever you have to cancel your beauty sleep to come and get us."

"Oh yeah … nothing can be better than Bella Swan's chocolate, blueberry pancakes in the morning." He said, closing his eyes and making an 'mmm' sound.

Rosalie nodded in agreement causing me to laugh at them.

"Bella."

I heard the familiar husky voice and my mouth fell open just as I saw James dropping his fork down on his plate and leaping to his feet.

"You just can't get a hint." James snarled in his face.

"Can you just back off? What are you? Her bodyguard?" He chuckled and pushed James causing him to stumble back. At that moment, Edward jumped up to his feet and was behind Jacob.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? She doesn't want you. So walk away while I haven't lost it."

This was getting out of hand. I stood up between the guys with my back facing Jacob. "Guys, just … don't." I said and looked pleadingly at James. "I will go talk to him. Just please don't get in a fight because of me."

James looked in my eyes and shook his head but let it go by sitting down. Edward, however, was still standing, his eyes darting from me to Jake.

I grabbed Jake's hand and pushed him out of the cafeteria so we could talk.

His hands immediately were around my waist as he pulled me closer. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my hands around his neck and pull him to my lips. "Bella, babe, I'm sorry." He whispered in my hair.

I gathered all the strength I had and pushed him away. "Jake, stop. I can't do this anymore." I looked into his eyes.

He dropped his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. "Bella, you don't mean that. You are just confused." He insisted, trying to hug me again but I smacked his hands.

"Confused? Jake, I saw you dry humping Leah. What is there to be confused about?"

"It wasn't like that. I just got coughed up in a moment and she –"

"No. Jake, no. We are done. I am so sick and tired of this. I don't want to feel sorry about myself anymore." I hissed through my teeth.

I was so scared that I would start to cry in front of him any second now, so I just turned around and started to walk away.

"Sorry about yourself?" He called after me. "Bella, you are hurting me right now. Think about me. You are breaking my heart. I can't live without you. I won't."

_Not this again. _


	3. Chapter 3

_I can't keeping touching you like this_

_If it's just temporary bliss_

_We were on fire_

_Now we're frozen_

_There's no desire_

_Nothing spoken_

_You're just playing_

* * *

I slept on my back with Jake's hand wrapped around my waist and his face snuggled in the gape of my neck. A single tear rolled down my cheek leaving a trace of tingling wetness. _Why do I keep doing this to myself? _

As slowly and quietly as possible, I slipped out of his grasp and searched for my clothes. I hated myself. I hated myself for not being strong enough. He always pulled shit like - _I can't live without you Bella. I will end my life if you walk away_. Suddenly the screen on Jacob's phone flashed and a message appeared on it.

**Babe, why aren't you here? You promised. –Leah**

I felt so stupid for believing him. Of course he didn't love me. I was not enough for him. I quickly put on my clothes and wiped away the tears from my face.

A sob escaped my lips as I looked for my phone to call Rosalie. I put on my clothes and sneaked out of his room with my high heels in my hands. Once I was out of house, I slid them on and dialed Rosalie's phone number. She picked up quicker than I would have expected.

"Bella, what's wrong? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?"

"Rosalie." I sobbed again. "Ca…can you c...come and pick…me up?"

"Shit, Bella, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Where are you?"

"Jake's."

"Wait there. I will come and get you as soon as possible."

In less than 10 minutes, I was in Rosalie's car with my head in her lap. She was stroking my hair and assuring me that everything would be alright.

"Why do I keep taking him back, Rose?" I asked once I'd stopped sobbing.

"Because you love him."

"I don't want to love him."

"You can't chose who you love, honey."

"I don't want to be hurt again."

"Then you need to end this. You are not happy and he clearly doesn't deserve you. You will find a guy who loves you unconditionally." She whispered.

Later that night, she took me to her house so we spent the entire night watching chick flicks and eating junk food. We laughed about stupid jokes and made up our futures and what they would look like. It was fun to be around her, she always made me forget about how miserable I was.

"You will break up with him, right?" She whispered into her pillow.

"I will." I promised her.

"I will help you get through that, Bella. I hate to see you getting hurt by the one you love."

"Thank you, Rose." I snuggled closer to her and she wrapped her arm around me. "Goodnight, Rosie."

"Goodnight, Belly Bear."

xZx

I woke up because of my phone. I groaned and opened my eyes, glancing around the room. I groaned again when I saw that my phone was all the way across the room lying on Rosalie's work table. I pushed myself out of bed and walked over to her desk.

'Jacob' flashed on the screen.

"Yes?" I answered and bit my lip. I knew he was angry.

"Bella, what the fuck is this? I woke up alone. Where the hell are you?" He was yelling into the phone.

_Just stay strong, Bella. _"I'm at Rosalie's. I left when Leah was starting to worry about you." I said it as coldly as possible.

"Bella, don't blame her for your choices." _What the fuck?_

"Fuck you, Jacob. We are done. Don't talk to me, don't call me and don't come near me."

I hung up and threw my phone across the room. Why was he always turning everything around like that? I was so angry at him for doing that.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked, pushing herself up on her elbows. "Bells, why are you throwing things?"

"I hate him, Rose." I fumed and jumped on the bed next to her. "He called me and said that I shouldn't blame Leah for the choices I'm making. Like all of this is my fault."

"He's a jerk, Bella. "

"I know."

xZx

"Hey, doll." I looked up to see James smiling face as he stood next to me.

"Hey." I greeted back before shutting my locker and turning to face him.

"So, how is it going?" He asked and started beside me.

"Fine. Everything is just fine."

"How are things with your boyfriend?"

"I kind of broke up with him."

He nodded. "Oh … well, you deserve better anyway." He smiled at me.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He sighed. "Okay, see you at lunch?"

I nodded before he walked in to his classroom and I went to mine.

Math was sucking dick like usual. All I did was draw some shit in my text book. I couldn't concentrate. I kept thinking about Jake and I. How good we'd had it a long time ago, when he had been the nice guy who I could just trust. But that guy was long gone and I was sure that he wasn't coming back.

After math class, I was on my way to my next class when I saw Jake with some girl. She was leaning against her locker and he had placed one hand next to her head and with other hand, he played with her hair.

My chest tightened and I clenched my teeth, hoping I wouldn't start to cry. _How could he do this to me? _

"Bells?" I heard Rosalie's voice behind me and spun around to hug her. "It's fine, Bella. You will get over it." She soothed me, stroking my back.

"No. I won't." I whispered in her hair. Suddenly I felt one more hand on my back.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Can't you see?" Rosalie spat.

"Oh. Bella. Just ignore him." Jasper said and rubbed my back one more time before removing his hand. "He's an ass and you can do better."

But I didn't want better. I wanted Jake.


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the new chapter, hope you will enjoy it.

And really big thanks to my new Beta -** iamsupergirl2** :)

* * *

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this_

"Bella, are you even listening to me?" Rosalie nudged my side, pulling me out of my thoughts.

It had been a week since things had ended between Jacob and I and he seemed to get over it very quickly. This morning I'd seen him holding hands with Alice Brandon as he walked her to her class. So that meant that Leah wasn't good enough for him either.

I laughed in my head about what a stupid girl I had been. I'd been sure that Leah hadn't been the only girl while Jacob and I had been together.

"Yeah, I'm listening." I lied. I could barely function in this past week. All I did was – go to school, go home and sleep.

"Well, if you were listening then what did I just say?" She asked me, raising an eyebrow dubiously.

"Okay, I wasn't listening." I admitted.

She rolled her eyes and repeated, "I said, it would be fun to hang out later after school. The guys agreed; what about you?"

She was trying to get me out of house to do something, but all I wanted to do was go home, put on my sweatpants and sweatshirt and cry myself to the sleep.

"Where?" I tried to look interested. I would say that I wanted to go and then bail at the last minute. I would have to come up with some convincing lie.

"At our place. You know our parents aren't home most of the time."

That was true. They traveled a lot, so most of the time, Rose and Jasper were all by themselves.

"Sure." I said blankly.

"Bella. Eat." Rosalie ordered.

For the past twenty minutes that we had been sitting here, I'd barely even touched my lunch. I hadn't felt like eating at all lately.

In order to please Rose, I took a bite of my salad, seeing her satisfied expression. However, when the cafeteria doors opened and _he_ walked in with Alice under his arm, I instantly felt horridly sick to my stomach and the fork slipped from my fingers, dropping with a _clash_ on my plate.

Edward got to his feet hastily, calling my name swiftly. "Bella?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah?"

"I think we should go. Remember Mr. Bannerasked us to come a little early to class?"

To be honest, I remembered absolutely nothing about it but complied anyway.

"Sure." I grabbed my tray and bag and followed Edward out of cafeteria after calling out "bye" to everyone and throwing my trash out.

I walked alongside Edward, not exactly sure what he was up to.

"Do we really need to be in class before lunch ends?" I asked suspiciously when I observed that we were going in the opposite direction.

"No. You just looked so miserable in there and then Black walked in with that girl under his hand and Rosalie was smattering you so I figured that I would get you out of there."

_How thoughtful._ I guessed he wasn't as bad as I thought. I figured that I was just a bad judge of character since I'd assumed that James was an asshole too.

"Thank you." I said. "If Rose had noticed, she would have made me stay and show him how strong I am." I said with a chuckle and he laughed lightly along with me.

"Yeah. She likes to go on and on about how women are such strong creatures." He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"You called me 'Bella'." He cocked his eyebrow in response to my sudden statement. "You always call me Swan, but you called me Bella." I said.

We had been lab partners for two years now and he always used to call me Swan or a klutz, but today was the first day that he called me Bella instead.

"I know. I just like Swan. It suits you."

"And what? Bella doesn't suit me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Okay." I decided to drop it. "So, where are we going?" I asked once we were out of building.

"We're ditching. Today we have to take a blood test and I know that blood makes you sick." He said with a sheepish smile.

I stared at him. "How do you know that?"

"That's for me to know and for you to dot dot dot. " He grinned and tugged on the sleeve of my leather jacket, pulling me in the direction of his car.


	5. Chapter 5

_And I've never been so alone  
And I've never been so alive_

"Where are we going?" I stopped as soon as I learned that he was taking me to the forest.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to murder you or anything." He chuckled. "I'm taking you to my favorite place." He informed me without taking his eyes off the road.

I raised my eyebrows as the curiosity washed over me. _Why was Edward Cullen taking me to his favorite place? And why was his favorite place in the forest?_

"Do you take girls to the forests often?" I mentally smacked myself when I heard my own question coming out of my mouth.

He laughed and looked at me for a second. "No." He said in a serene voice. "Whenever I go there, it kind of makes me feel better. I could just be there and enjoy myself for a moment."

"Then why are you taking me there?"

"Because it seems like you are forgetting how to enjoy yourself, Bella." He said with a swift glance in my direction, before turning his attention back to the road.

A few minutes later, he parked the car and helped me out. I had never seen him acting this way towards a girl before. He always seemed like one of those guys, those guys who live after the saying – love them and leave them.

Yes. Edward Cullen had that kind of a reputation along with Emmett and James. Jasper was different though, I remember him having a girlfriend, Maria. They had been a thing for a really long time, but then something had happened and they had broken up. The next week, she transferred schools.

"What now?" I asked looking suspiciously over at him.

He nodded towards the small trail which led deeper into the woods.

"I'm not going in there." I announced, taking a step back.

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. "It will be okay, I promise. We just need to walk for a little while." He was trying to calm me down but it wasn't working.

I was afraid of woods, _very_ afraid. Once when I was a kid, I had gotten lost in the forest behind my house. I'd thought that I would just go for a walk and I;d ended up lost. I'd been wandering around for almost twelve hours before one of my father's employees had found me. Since then, I stayed as far away from them as possible.

"I'm not going." I repeated, before turning around and walking back to his car.

"Bella, wait." Edward followed me quickly and stopped me before we reached his car. "What's the problem?" He asked in a worried voice.

"I...um...iamfraidfromwoods." I murmured as quiet as possible. I already felt the blush creeping on my cheeks.

"What?''

"I said imafraidofwoods."

"Bella, I can't understand a word you're saying." He said and tilted my chin up with his index finger.

"I said that I'm afraid of woods." As soon as those words left my mouth I dropped my gaze on the ground.

"Are you for real? You live in an area surrounded by woods and you are afraid of them?" I nodded in response to his question.

"Well, that's all right. But you know what? You don't have to be afraid when you are with me." His statement made me look up and our eyes locked for a moment before he cleared his throat and removed his fingers from my chin, pushing his hands into his pockets.

Something about him told me that I could trust him. Something about him told me that I _should_ trust him. And that something was really dominating since I took a step closer to the small trail.

"Are you coming or what?" I cocked my head to stare at him, noticing Edward's face break out into a smile in response. Together, we began to walk.

The route was long and my feet started to hurt so Edward offered to carry me on his back, but I refused. First of all – I barely knew the guy so it would be weird for me to jump on his bones. And second of all, it would just feel awkward.

After ten more minutes of hiking, Edward announced that we were close and that I needed to stop whining. So I did.

"So, here it is – my favorite place." He said once we stepped out of the forest.

We were met by this amazing meadow. It looked like it had been pulled out of a fairy tale. It was so colorful; the grass was green with many, beautiful wildflowers.

"It's the loveliest place I've ever seen." I said and took a step closer to Edward.

He looked down at me and flashed me one of his famous crooked smiles. "I know."

Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. He began to run, making me run as well, and once we were almost in the middle of the meadow, he pulled me down on the ground with him.

We fell on our backs laughing. I took in deep breaths as I watched the sky; the clouds were rolling in, covering the sun.

"How did you find this place?" I asked pushing myself up so I was resting on my forearms.

"Promise that you won't be mad?" I felt my eyes narrowing but my curiosity got the better of me and when I nodded eagerly, he continued. "Well, this is pretty much my backyard."

I tried to wrap my head around it for a second. "What do you mean this is your backyard?"

"Well, I live out of Forks, you know that, right?" I nodded in response. "So, there is a forest hugging my house and this place is pretty much close to where I live."

"How close?"

"Like really close. If you walk that way," he pointed with his index finger, "You would end up in my backyard in less than three minutes."

"Are you for real?" I gasped. "You drove so far away and made me walk multiple miles, but instead we could've just gone to your place and walk like three minutes?"

"Yeah …" He said with a smile playing on his lips and he pushed himself up so we were on the same level.

"Why would you do that? Do you like to torture people?" I almost yelled at him. I was a little angry because he made me walk through a forest. And he made me walk such a long road. "Why did you do that?"

"Well …you were sad -"

I cut him off. "And making me walk a million miles would make me happier?

"No, but you didn't think about _him_, am I right?" He asked with a satisfied expression on his face.

"No." I gasped in surprise. "Clever. I must give that to you." I couldn't believe that he would do something like that for a girl that he barely knew. I offered him a smile and he accepted it with his own.

"Thank you, Edward."

"You are very welcome, Bella."

* * *

**Finally some Bella and Edward alone time :) Tellme guys what do you think :) Im eager to know your opinion. **

**Thank you for reading.**

**P.s. Big thanks to my Beta - iamsupergirl2 :)**


	6. Chapter 6

_It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright._

After we spent a few hours in the meadow, Edward drove me back to school since I had left my car there. After our peaceful evening, I felt somehow calm and free.

I was glad that he had whisked me away from all of that drama and just let me spent a few hours pretending like my life wasn't a mess.

After the long drive, he stopped his car in the school's parking lot. Edward turned the engine off and I unbuckled my seat belt.

"Well, thank you for the lovely evening. I really needed that." I rubbed my palms together while I spoke. It was already late and it was starting to get chilly.

Edward shifted in his seat, so that his upper body was facing me. I turned my head to look at him.

"You are welcome." I smiled in response. "And don't spend your time crying over that douche. You deserve so much better than him."

"But maybe I don't? Maybe he _is_ the one and it's just a rough patch." I was suddenly defending Jacob and our relationship. I knew that he actually really was a douche, but for some reason, I still felt kind of protective about us.

"And why do you think that he's the one?" He asked with his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows pulled together like he was trying to figure out something really hard.

"Because I want him. I always want him. It has happened before. He cheats, I dump him, but then I want him back. Maybe because he's the one." I said, doubting my own words. I didn't want to believe that someone who's hurting me so much could really be the one.

"Bella, sometimes the one you want is not the one you need." His statement made me look up to meet his gaze.

His eyes were so different from Jake's. Jacobs's eyes always were dark and hard and they sometimes scared me causing me to look away from them. But Edwards's eyes were so different. They were soft and full of kindness and I liked the way they were holding my gaze.

"How do you know?"

"I just know." He insisted, causing me not to question him anymore.

"I should go."

"Yeah, it's getting late. See you later at the Hales." He smiled at me and I got out of car after thanking him one more time for the lovely evening.

xZx

I was almost pulling in my driveway when the glimpse of a red Volkswagen Rabbit clouded my eyes. _No, this can't be happening._ I whined to myself. The ending of my day had been so great and I didn't felt so sorry about myself anymore and here he was - making sure that my day was ruined again.

I stopped my car and after few moments of hesitating, I stepped out, a little warily. Jacob was standing at my front doors, waiting for me. He looked annoyed and angry. His eyes were hard like always and his palms were curled up into fists.

"What are you doing here?" I spat at him making his eyes widen.

He ignored my question and attacked me with his own. "Where were you?"

"It's none of your business. Why are you here?" I demanded, crossing my hands over my chest.

"Well, I was waiting for you after your last period, but you weren't there, so I waited by your car only to have Jasper telling me that you probably left already because you weren't in Bio either."

"So?"

"So? I was worried."

"You don't have to get so worried about me anymore. Last I checked, you were with Alice."

"You know she doesn't mean a shit to me. I love you. I was going out with her just to make you jealous."

"I'm not jealous. I don't love you anymore." I hissed, attempting to move past him, but he grabbed my upper arm, yanking me back.

"That's not true. You love me. You know that. You can't live without me, Bella."He stated in a calm voice and it sounded like he was completely confident about his words. And I was afraid that he would convince me again. So I said the most stupidest thing that came into my mind.

"I'm seeing someone else."

He looked taken aback by my words as his hand slid down mine before letting it go. "You are joking. You would never -"

"Yes, I would. I'm sick and tired of your games. Jacob – we are done. I met someone else. And believe me – he's so much better than you." I tried to sound more confident than I actually was about my statement and it worked because he simply nodded and began to walk.

Before I was in the house completely, I heard a booming sound; he had probably punched something because when I turned around, I noticed him rubbing his hand.

xZx

"You are lucky that he didn't ask who the guy is. We all know you can't lie even if your life depends on it." After with my run in with Jake, I had decided that I would go to Rosalie's house.

"Right. I would've probably messed up something or couldn't come up with a name." I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. I shouldn't have told him that I have a boyfriend.

"Whatever, maybe he will finally get the message and leave you the fuck alone." Rosalie spat.

"That was always the problem. He never leaves you alone and he chases after you so long that you're finally forced into giving up and letting him back in. He knows you very well." Rosalie was right. I did go very easy on him. He had me all figured out and I needed to change that. I needed to change myself.

"Hey, girls." Jasper greeted us, popping his head in Rosalie's room. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing." Rosalie answered.

"Great. Guys called and said that they will be here any minute." He informed us and left.

"So, where were you this evening?"

"With Edward."

"That I figured out. That is why I asked you _where_ you were not with who."

"We were at his place." I wasn't lying, since it was almost his backyard. I just wasn't sure if he wanted me to share that kind of information about him and his favorite spot.

"Oh … and what did you guys do?"

"Nothing. We just hung out for a few hours and then I went home."

"Did you guys hang out before today as well?"

"No. We are just lab partners and we speak only in Bio."

"Oh. Okay. Let's go downstairs and see what the guys are up to. Maybe we can watch some horror movie. I know how much you love those." She said with a mock giggle and walked out of room, pulling me with her.

Later that night, I found myself cuddled on the couch between James and Edward. We were watching _The Ring _and that movie was probably the only one that scared the living shit out of me.

"Don't be such a baby, Bella." James chuckled and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah, it's not she's going to come out of TV and kill you." Edward added.

"You guys don't know that, okay?"

"Bella, that isn't even possible."

"What if it is?"

"It can't be."

"But what if it can?"

"And what are you saying? That Jameson from Friday 13 can come after you too?"

"Yes. Yes, he can." I said in the most serious tone ever causing Edward to laugh at me.

"Stop fantasizing and just watch the movie." His voice was only for me to hear as he whispered in my ear. He pulled away and swung his hand around me pulling me to his side, comforting me.

"Remember?" I looked up at him with me eyebrows pushed together. "You don't have to be afraid when you are with me." His velvet voice made me calm instantly and the small smile escaped my lips as I snuggled closer to him wrapping my hand around his waist.

* * *

**Big thanks to my Beta - iamsupergirl2 :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late._

_Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting  
Silence, this train runs off its tracks  
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?  
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back_

After our movie night, we all decided to spend the night at Hales. Edward got the guest room right across the hall and Emmet was in the guest room right next to Edward's. James got the guest room that was right next to Rosalie's. I, of course, spent the night in Rosalie's room.

After the horrible movie, I couldn't sleep so instead of tossing around and risking waking up Rosalie, I just decided to go downstairs for a cup of tea. I admit it – it was scary as hell walking through those dark halls, but I kept repeating to myself that none of it was real and I shouldn't be afraid.

I was a little surprised when I noticed the kitchen light on. I popped my head in and smiled when I saw James making himself a tea and dancing a little. I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from bursting out in laughter but I failed when a loud 'hahaha' escaped my lips. James jumped a little and turned around to only see me on the floor laughing my ass off.

"You saw that, huh?" A light chuckle came out of his mouth and he came closer to put his arm out for me to grab. Without hesitating, I took his hand and let him help me to my feet.

"Nice PJs." He said before turning around and walking over the kitchen bar-set. I'd forgotten what I was wearing so I looked down to see tight black camisole and hot purple short shorts. Suddenly I felt somehow naked, but I shook the feeling off.

"Tea?" He offered and I nodded in response, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. "So, what is keeping you up?" He asked, pouring me a cup of tea. He set the glass in front of me and sat down across from me.

"I couldn't sleep. I just have one of those nights, when I turn and toss and just can't find the perfect position." He nodded in understanding. "And it's the full moon. I can't sleep when it's the full moon." I added, taking a sip of my tea.

"Me neither. It's hard for me to fall asleep when it's full moon. I guess we have something in common." He pointed out adding a small smile.

"I guess we do."

"So, how is it going? When you girls came down, it looked like you had been crying. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. It's just Jacob. He was at my house when I got there and I guess I got upset."

"I see. Do you want me talk to him? To tell him to leave you alone?"

"No. It's fine. I think he will."

"Alright. But remember – if you need someone to scare him off you know where to find me."

"Okay." I smiled at him.

We kept chatting on and almost didn't notice that we had been talking all night. I never thought I would spend the whole night talking with James hunter in Rosalie's kitchen drinking herbal tea.

The first one to come down was Jasper. He greeted us with a suspicious smile and we just rolled our eyes at him. The next one down was Emmett. I helped Jasper to fix breakfast as the other two boys went to living room to watch cartoons. Yes, they were high–schoolers and schools bad asses, but they loved to watch cartoons. Who would've known?

"So you are really cosy with Edward. Is there something going on between you guys?" Jasper asked taking me by surprise.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"Well you two snuggled?"

"So?"

"So? I thought only couples snuggle."

"Well you got it wrong. We are barely friends. Nothing is going on between us." Jasper just rolled his eyes and I nudged his side. "We can't all be that lovey–dovey as you."

"I'm lovey-dovey?"

"Well, yes."

"No."

"Yes you are. You are fluffy and puffy." The next thing I know I was trapped between him and the counter and he was tickling the shit out of me.

"Sto … stop." I could barely get it out.

"Okay, okay" He let go of me and I tried to stabilize my breath.

"Jerk." I teased and immediately regretted my joke when his fingers dug into my ribs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I tried to get out of his grasp, but didn't succeed. Jasper was holding me tight and tickling me and I was almost out of breath trying to save my life.

"Guys?"

Jasper immediately let go of me and took a step back. I bit my lip when I met Edward's curious eyes watching us.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." I said trying to ease the tension in the air.

Edward nodded and jumped on the bars stool his eyes still curious.

"How did you sleep?" I asked put ting the cup of hot coffee in front of him.

"Thanks. I slept well. And, you?"

"Oh, Bells and I spent the whole night up." I hadn't noticed that James had entered the kitchen as well. I felt my eyebrow arching at his new nickname for me.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

Suddenly something was happening and I didn't know what it was. James was looking at Edward and Edward was looking right back at him and his gaze looked challenging. Like he was challenging James with his eyes. Sure there was a thick tension in the air, thicker than before.

"We were talking." I suddenly felt the need to add that.

Edwards gaze dropped on me and I offered him a small smile. He, thankfully, smiled back.

After we ate breakfast I decided it's time for me to go home. I said a quick 'bye' to everyone and I even got a hug from Emmett and James, which felt actually a little weird.

xZx

I was snuggled up in my bed with my TV on when the doorbell rang. I was sure that I wasn't expecting anyone so I hesitated before walking downstairs. I stopped at the last step and decided to first go to the kitchen window to see if I can catch a glimpse of whoever was there.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Jacobs's motorcycle standing at the end of my driveway.

I stood there for few seconds thinking what to do. He kept knocking and ringing doorbell. So I slowly walked over there, but I didn't open the door.

"What do you want, Jake?" I yelled loud enough for him to hear.

"Bells, let me in. We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"But I have something. Please just let me in." I knew if I opened the doors I would be screwed. But the truth was – I didn't care. So I opened them and let him in.

"Bella, baby." He was right in front of me in one quick step, holding my face in his hands and looking in to my eyes. Suddenly I felt like nothing has changed for us. He felt the same.

"What do you want?" I quickly managed to pull myself out of this haze. I took a step back and crossed my hands over my chest.

"We need to talk."

"Talk."

"Okay. Bella, I miss you. I screwed up and I'm really sorry. It won't happen again." He swore holding his right hand on his heart.

"You know you actually swore to me this multiple times before this?" I tried to keep calm.

"I know. I know. But I never thought I would really lose you. I guess I took you for granted." He admitted, making my eyelids flatter. I bit my lip and dropped my gaze on the ground.

"I don't believe you, Jacob." But I wanted to believe him.

"Please. Bella, I love you."

"Don't you get it? It's just too late." I walked over the front doors and opened them. It took me all the strength I had, but I needed to do it. If I didn't, then that was it. Then I would be his again. And I really didn't want that anymore. I didn't want to be hurt again. "You should go."

"Bella, please."

"You should go." I repeated, averting my gaze from him.

"Fine." He spat walking past me and out the door. I shut the doors and locked them. I was waiting for the moment when I broke down crying, but it never came. I guess I was stronger that I gave myself credit for.

xZx

"Hello." I said picking up my phone.

"Guess what?" Rosalie's excited voice shouted through phone.

"What?" I said carelessly.

"Emmett asked me out." She squealed, yes squealed, in the phone.

"Well, congratulations."

"God, Bella I'm so happy. I really like him." I never heard Rosalie sounding like such a girl.

"Well, I guess that's great then."

"Oh no, what's up with you?"

"Jake came by."

"Again? What did he want this time?"

"The same."

"I think you really need to get a new boyfriend so that Jacob can finally fuck off."

"I guess I do."

xZx

I was zoomed out most time during the first period. I couldn't concentrate as usual. The bell rang and I smiled because it was over. I put all my stuff back in my bag and walked out of class. Then something caught my eye. Principal Maze was walking to his cabin with Jacob and Edward following right behind him. Suddenly my heart started to race when I catch the glimpse of Jacobs blue eye and cut lip.

"What is that about?" Rosalie's voice made me look up at her. She had a worried face as she followed Edward with her eyes.

"I don't know."

"They got into a fight." I cocked my head and saw Jasper standing behind us.

"About what?" My voice was curious.

"About you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Big thanks to my great Beta - iamsupergirl2 :)**

_I'm a bloody big mess inside  
I've been lost, I've been out, I've been losing  
I've been tired, I'm all hurt and confusion  
I've been mad, I'm the kind of man that I'm not  
I'm going down, I'll be coming back fighting  
I may be scared and a little bit frightened  
But I'll be back, I'll be coming back to life  
I'll be coming back to life_

Once my last class was over, I left more quickly than usual, forgetting about my shower. I needed to talk to Edward about what happened this morning. I havn't seen him at lunch which was why I hoped I would get to see him now.

Small droplets of rain were starting to rush down from the sky. The small sigh escaped my lips as I watched them crushing to the ground.

I was gripping my books tightly in my hands when I finally caught sight of him. He was walking out of school with his head down and his hands buried into his pockets.

I straightened my body and waited for him to come closer. Only when he was a few feet away did I notice his bruised eyebrow. Suddenly my hand had a brain of itself and it flew up, my fingers gently traced the bloody, red line on his face.

"What happened?" I asked, letting my hand drop to my side.

"I'm pretty sure you already know what happened." His voice was cold and strong.

"Yeah, but I mean _what_ happened between you two?" I could feel my eyebrows pushing tight together.

Edward looked away for a second and then back at me. His eyes weren't as warm and kind anymore. They were…I couldn't quite figure that out actually.

"We got into a fight." He said in a most obvious tone.

"But why?"

"Look, it's doesn't matter, okay?" His voice was a bit harsh. "Could you move so I can get to my car?" He spoke, keeping his gaze averted from mine.

I was starting to get worried and this weird rush of butterflies filled my stomach, but they weren't good butterflies. They were bad, because Edward was mad at me and not knowing why was getting me worried.

I moved out of his way and watched him get into his car before speeding off.

xZx

I was lying on my bed with the earplugs in my ears listening to the music and trying to sleep. But I couldn't because my thoughts were playing today's events in my head over and over again. I still wasn't able to figure out why Edward was mad at me and why they had gotten into a fight, because as far as I knew, they had never spoken one word to each other.

I pushed myself up and pulled the earplugs out. I grabbed my phone and dialed Rosalie's phone number, all the while praying that maybe she would know something.

"Hello?" After she spoke she cleared her throat. I had probably woke her up.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked hoping she would say no.

"Yes."

_Oh well. _"Sorry." I sighed. "Rose, do you know why Edward got in a fight with Jake?" I cut right to the case.

"Don't you?"

"No. Edward wasn't really in the mood to talk to me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well he and Emmett were talking about…can't remember…oh! Emmett said to Edward that you guys looked cute all snuggled up on the couch while watching movie. So Jake apparently heard that and exploded. So here you go. Jake thinks you are seeing Edward because you told him yourself that you are dating someone new. So Jake confronted Edward and called you names saying him to enjoy your whorish ass or something like that. Then Edward lost it and smashed his face."

"He called me a whore?" I gasped from the shock. Suddenly I felt the swelling in my throat and I knew I was about to cry. "I...thanks." With that, I hung up the phone and slipped back under my covers.

Jake and I had been together for years and after all that he goes around calling me names? Did he ever really love me? Or had it all been fake from the beginning?

I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away. I shouldn't be crying about someone who doesn't deserve anything from me.

But it would be painful to know that he still owned my heart. It was all mess. A big mess. I loved the one I should hate. Maybe Edward was right – maybe the one I wanted was not the one I needed. No, he was _definitely _right. I didn't need a guy like Jake. I didn't need a guy like Jake. I didn't need Jake. That would be my new mantra.

xZx

I wasn't going to let Edward remain mad at me and continue to ignore me. In these few weeks, I had grown to love him as a friend. All of them. Even James, although he still scared me a little.

I was waiting for Edward leaning casually against his locker.

Finally the owner of messy bronze hair was coming my way.

"Hey." I said, meeting his eyes. I thanked God that his beautiful eyes were back to normal. I pushed myself off of his locker and straightened myself.

"Hey." He responded and added a small smile. The warm feeling washed over me and I was glad that we were back to being normal.

"You're not mad anymore." I stated and he confirmed it with a nod. "Why were you mad at me?" I was curious.

"Because. I still don't get it how you could date a douche like that when…" He cut himself off making my curiosity grow bigger.

"When what?"

"Nothing. It's just…Never mind. You can do better."

"Why did you hit him?"

"I'm not sure you want to hear that."

"Rose already told me what he said. I'm just curious about why you hit him. It's a wonder that you're not suspended or anything."

"I hit him because you are my friend. Friends stand up for each other." He said in all honesty.

"Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

_A friend in need's a friend indeed,  
A friend with weed is better,  
A friend with breasts and all the rest,  
A friend who's dressed in leather,_

A friend in need's a friend indeed,  
A friend who'll tease is better ,  
Our thoughts compress,  
Which makes us blessed,  
And makes for stormy weather

"We should go to a party." Rose announced, pulling me by my hand. We were on our way to the lunch room when she got this bright idea. I turned my head to look at her piercing blue eyes. They were steamy and full with flame. I knew this look. Rosalie wanted to have a _good time_. "What do you say?" She asked her every word dripping with desire.

"What the hell?"

She let her perfectly white teeth sink into her lower lip and a grin appeared on her face. "Awesome. Let's go ask boys."

Emmett was already greeting Rosalie with his eyes as he watched her slowly coming towards him. He was quickly up to his feet holding a chair out for her, clearly wanting her right by his side. Only when she sat down, I noticed James standing next to me with a chair pulled out for me. I thanked him as I took a seat sat down right across from Edward. Edwards's eyes were now in the same shade of dark like yesterday as he watched James getting back in to his seat.

I didn't know what it was that was going on between them, but it really made me feel uncomfortable so I spoke.

"Rose and I decided that it would be great to go for a party. What do you guys think?"

"A party sounds great." Emmett's voice was full with excitement.

I nodded in agreement and turned my head to Edward. He was leaning back in his seat with his one hand hanging around the chair next to him and the other hand rested on his knee. Only then did I notice that he was holding a phone in his hands and typing something so he wasn't paying any attention to me.

With raised eyebrows I turned to look at James. "What do you say?"

"I say let's do it. I heard that there will be a great party at Lauren's house on Friday."

"What do you say, Rose?" I turned to see her and only now noticed that Emmett's hand was hanging around Rosalie's shoulders. I hated to pull her away from Emmett's eyes, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. "Rose." I said a bit louder and it worked because she turned her head to look at me.

"James said there is a party at Lauren's."

"When?"

"Friday."

"What are you guys talking about?" Jasper was just now joining us. He watched all of us with curious eyes . "Is anyone going to answer me?"

"We are thinking of going to a party at Lauren's." I informed him.

"Sounds great." He said popping the piece of sandwich in his mouth. "Is everyone going?"

"I think so…" I trailed of looking at Edward. Only now he popped up his head to look at me.

"M?"

"We are going to Lauren's party this Friday. Are you with us?" James asked him tearing Edwards's eyes away from me.

"Sure." He simply said and looked back at his phone.

"Can't wait to see you guys dancing." Rosalie said giggling.

"Oh…I bet you can't. I saw James shaking that tight ass of his the other night." I said in a mocking voice.

James rolled his eyes at me and ruffled my hair. "Well then, I guess you just need to return the favor." The playful smile lingered on his lips as he watched me strangely.

"When did that happened?" Rosalie watched me with raised eyebrows.

"That was the other day, when we hung out at your place. I walked in on him shaking his goods." Rosalie started to laugh jerking her head back.

"Okay, see you guys later." Edward stood up and began to walk when I called out his name he stopped to wait for me.

I grabbed my bag and walked over to where he was. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving for Bio?"

"What? Should I escort you to your every class, as well?"

My lips parted and I felt my eyebrows pushing together. "No, but we always go to Bio together after lunch." I stated.

"Not always, only the past two weeks."

With a quick eye roll I turned around and walked away. I didn't know what was up with him and I wasn't playing his stupid mind games. I thought we cleared things this morning so why all of a sudden he's playing a drama queen?

xZx

Rosalie and I have been in my room for more than two hours dressing up and down and trying on different outfits. In the end, I decided to wear black tight tank top with black shredded skinny jeans and black boots.

Rosalie ended up wearing loose, bright red top with blue skinny jeans and red boots. She colored her lips crimson red, just like mine.

"Will you curl your hair or wear them straight?" I asked holding up the curling iron.

"I think I will just pull them up in a ponytail."

"No, you should let them down. You look so much sexier with your hair down."

"Then give me that curling iron. I will do your hair first okay?" She offered and I nodded.

I liked my hair curly, but I really hated to curl them.

"So you and Em seemed pretty cozy the other day at lunch. My guess is that the date went well and now you two are like a thing or something?"

"It's complicated. The date was great. But the ending of it was a little bit fucked. Remember Royce? My ex?" I nodded and let her to continue. "Well we run into him and he started one of his scenes and I think that Emmett got scared a little."

"Emmett? Scared? Have you seen the size of that guy?"

"Yeah, well he hasn't asked me out on any other dates so…"

I could see how upset she was, so I stopped asking her questions about him. Half an hour later, Rose was done with my hair and I thanked her. She had done a really great job curling my hair into big loose curls. My hair now looked like I just rolled out of bed and I really loved it. I wished that it would look like that naturally, but, oh well, you can't always get what you want.

After we were officially done getting ready, we walked out on Rosalie's balcony to smoke some weed. We did that mostly before every party, just to relax.

"What's up with you and that Eddie boy?" She asked handing me the blunt and I took it gladly.

"Nothing is up with us. Something is up with him. He has been acting weird lately and I really don't know why." I said honestly.

"Yeah, that guy always is a mystery."

"Girls, the boys are here. Are you ready?" Jasper called from the hallway.

"Be right down." Rosalie yelled back at him and took the last drug before handing me the blunt. I took the last smoke and tossed it in the ashtray.

Once we walked down, I could see Emmett standing by the doors talking with Edward. James wasn't there so I figured he would meet us at the party. The weed was already kicking in and I felt a little light headed.

"Hey, boys. Ready to shake some ass?" I walked over to where they were and did a really bold move throwing my hand around Edwards's shoulders. He looked down at me with his lips parted and his eyes confused. But the confusion washed away quickly as his lips pulled into a smirk before he spoke.

"Are you high?"

"Maybe?" It was no surprise that the weed had kicked in so fast because before that Rosalie and I had taken a few shots of whiskey.

"So, we better take that mobile phone away from you." Emmett said snatching my phone out of my pocket. "We don't want you to turn your drunk text on."

That was true. I indeed loved to send drunken messages.

"Rose told you, huh?"

"She did."

"Okay, I'm ready. Here is your leather jacket, babe."

Rose handed it to me and I took it, swinging it around my hand. I already felt hot and I was sure that I wouldn't be needing it so I would just leave it in the car.

The drive to Lauren's house wasn't long. Emmett was driving so this meant that he wasn't drinking, I supposed.

The very minute we walked in, Rosalie dragged me to the dance floor and who was I to protest to my lovely girlfriend, right? So I just took her hands and we swayed to the music making the guys stare as we grind our bodies together.

If it hadn't been for Rose, I wouldn't have danced. I wasn't a fan of dancing, but when the alcohol was in my system, I felt like a freaking rock star so what the hell. And Rosalie just kept bringing back that rock star out even more by her tempting dance moves. After a few more songs and lots of grinding and dancing with Rose, we decided that it was time to get a little more tipsy.

As we pushed our way through the sea of sweaty people, we decided to go look for guys. Just as we got out of the room, I immediately spotted James talking with some freshmen girl. My guess was that he felt me looking at him because in just a few seconds his head turned and his eyes met mine. I nodded at him and smiled. He leaned down and whispered something to the girl before walking over to me.

"Hey, you. Looking good." He said and I decided to put on a little show and spin around for him to get a better look. "And look at that ass." He underlined his sentence with a light chuckle.

"Thank you."

"So where is Rose?"

Only now had I noticed that she wasn't anywhere near me.

"I don't know." I spun around and right at that moment I bumped into someone. "Oh. Sorry, Edward." I felt the blush already creeping on my cheeks.

"Its okay."

"Where are the guys?"

"Somewhere in the back of the house."

"Have you seen Rose? I lost her."

"No. Sorry."

"So how you are you liking the party?" I didn't know why was I making small talk with him, but I couldn't stop.

"Its okay." It was more than clear that he didn't wanted to talk to me.

"I'm going to go fill my glass. Bella, can I get you anything?" James asking shaking his red cup in his hands. I nodded and he walked to the kitchen.

"I can't see her anywhere." I whined, looking around.

"Who?"

"Rose." I rolled my eyes at his lack of memory.

Then my eyes coughed up someone I didn't want to see. Suddenly the bass of the music felt too loud and I heard the blood pumping in my head as my eyes locked with Jacob's.

I heard the sigh escaping my lips and my knees go weak as he kissed the girl right next to him, not tearing his eyes away from me. _That bastard._ I felt my eyes stinging with tears and I was about to turn around and run when Edward wrapped me up in his hand and pulled me closer to him.

For a split second, he looked into my eyes as he lowered his face down and then I felt it. He kissed me. I stood there stunned and not moving. But then my body reacted as it leaned in to him and my lips moved along with his. And it was just purely magical. I didn't know if that had something to do with the alcohol or the kiss, but I felt dizzy. Dizzy and amazing. Take that Jacob Black.

**Big thanks to my Beta - iamsupergirl2 :)**


	10. Chapter 10

_Keep this scene inside your head, as the bruises turn to yellow, and the swelling goes down._

And if you're ever around, in the city or the suburbs, of this town,  
Be sure to come around…

Fire. That was the feeling that I felt in my veins as he kept moving his lips against mine. My whole body was on fire.

I felt my knees getting weak as he slid his hands to my lower back sending chills down my spine. This was wrong. But this was great. It felt great. It felt good. It felt like fire.

Suddenly it didn't.

Suddenly my lips were free and Edward was pushed up against the wall and Jacob was holding him by his collar.

"Don't you ever touch her." He looked at him with bloodshot eyes making me gasp. "You little piece of shit."

"Who are you to tell me to whom I can touch or can't? She obviously doesn't want _you_ to touch her you -"

I screamed out and felt my voice crack as he slammed Edward against the wall making a booming sound. "Jake, stop!"

"Jacob, stop it!" By this time people were already surrounding us, making a small circle around us. In just a blink of an eye, Jacob was off of Edward and on the ground. I think I heard Jacob's bones breaking as Edwards fist collided with his face.

"James!" I yelled as loud as possible repeating it multiple times hoping he would hear me. Edward was holding his fist up in the air looking at Jacob with all the rage he could feel.

"Go on. Enjoy my sloppy seconds." Jacob blurted out and Edward punched him again and again…

"JAMES!"

Finally he rushed through the sea of people and in a heartbeat, Edward was off of Jacob and pushed up against the wall. James was holding him hard but still struggled as Edward kept pushing him off.

"Oh my God, Jake." My hands flew to my mouth as I saw his face. It was all messed up and bloody. He stood up in a swift movement and whipped his face to me.

"Jake…"

He shot me deadly glare before turning to face Edward.

"She's not worth it, you know?" was all he said.

I'd never felt so ashamed in my life like right now at this moment. Luckily for me, Rose was already by my side holding onto my hand.

"Let's get out of here." She said pulling out of the house with Jasper and Emmett following us.

xZx

Numb. That was how I felt. Worthless. I felt small and pointless. The love of my life didn't want me back. He never wanted me. I took another drag of my blunt.

How could I have been so stupid? Why was I doing this to myself over and over again? I keep promising myself to forget him and move on, but all I did was whine and cry over him.

I was a liar. I lied to myself all the time.

I didn't know where I was or what time it was. All I knew was that I wasn't alone.

As soon as Rose got me out of that house, she pushed me into Emmett's car and that was the last thing I remembered.

Now I was in a room. A dark room. Maybe a basement. But a nice basement. It felt warm and cozy. The loud music was sending vibrating feelings through my body and I took another drag. I just wanted to get fucked up.

The boy's lips were on my neck. Licking and sucking. I took one last drag and smashed the blunt into an ashtray.

He kept kissing my neck and I let his hands wander around my body. It was good to feel wanted. Finally his lips reached mine and I moved so now I was sleeping on my back with him on top of me. I knew I would regret this tomorrow, but at this point I didn't care…

xZx

It was probably already morning when I opened my eyes. And as I predicted, the shower of guilt and regret washed all over me. I felt my forehead pressed up against the warm body and someone's hand wrapped around my waist holding me close.

I usually didn't do things like this. I wasn't the one for one night stands since I had just one boyfriend for years. But I guess my drunk-ass-high-ass Bella was looking for some rebound sex or just kind of any attention or she just wanted to be wanted. Yes, that was definitely it…I couldn't remember the last time I felt wanted. Like really wanted.

I opened my eyes to face my drunken mistake. My eyes locked with piercing blue ones. Almost violet. I felt terrified on the inside, but numb on the outside. What had I done?

Jasper. Fuck my life.

Instead of freaking out and jumping out of bed, he pulled me closer and pushed his lips against mine. _Shit just got messed up._

xZx

I felt like my insides were going to explode. For the first time in my life, there was something I couldn't discuss with Rosalie and it nearly killed me inside. I needed to get this out of my system but I couldn't.

After he kissed me, I couldn't stop him or myself for that matter so I just kissed him back. After our little make out session he went to the bathroom. It turned out that we were at Emmett's house, which wasn't far away from mine, so while Jasper was in bathroom I quickly put on my clothes and ran. Yes. I ran.

It was already noon and my phone was buzzing constantly. I had multiple missed calls from Rosalie. Texts from James; he was wondering if I was okay. Texts of multiple apologies from Edward and a text from Jake saying he needed to see me. The last one clearly got my attention and I was dumb Bella again when I texted him back to come over.

Jasper was calling me, too, but I just couldn't even think of him right now. I still felt kind of dirty and sick to my stomach. Not sick of Jasper. Just sick of myself. I'd never done things like this so it was something new for me and I promised not to make a habit out of it.

Rosalie was calling me for like the tenth time so I gave up and answered. "Hey." My voice cracked a little as I spoke.

"Hey, bitch. Where did you go?" She didn't sounded mad that I had ignored her all they and I felt relieved.

"Home."

"Why?"

"Because I live here?"

"Okay, don't say. How are you? Are you okay? Edward feels pretty guilty. He looks like a big giant ass mess."

"Well he should. Did you see how he attacked Jake?" I knew I shouldn't be blaming Edward because Jake attacked him first, but I couldn't bring myself to _not to _take Jake's side. Bad old habit, I guessed.

"Yeah, but he was only defending you."

"I know." I admitted. "Talk to you later?" I asked once I heard the knock on my front door.

"Okay. Bye." She hung up and I threw my phone on the bed.

xZx

"Are you for real?" Suddenly these past few weeks felt like a fucking joke. Was God really playing some stupid ass joke on me?

"Yes. I'm moving today." He said without emotion. I tried to play our conversation back a little repeating it again in my head.

"Away." I spoke it out loud hoping that I would believe it somehow. But it still felt like a joke. "When did you find out?" I swallowed the tears as they tried to break out. As much as I wished for him to be out of my life, I was still in love with him. And it hurt like hell knowing that I wouldn't be seeing him anymore.

"Like few days ago." He knew this for days and still acted that way towards me? Did I really meant shit to him?

"I can't believe it." I said dropping my head on my knees not tearing my eyes away from Jacob. He came here to say goodbye and apologize for his behavior. He felt bad when he found out that he can't make it up to me anymore because he's leaving.

"I couldn't either, but it's happening. So I just hope you can forgive me. I want to go away knowing that you won't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I'm just mad at everything you did. "

"Well…that's better that hate."

"It is."

"I'm really sorry I fucked up."

"Yeah…"

"Forgive me if you can about the all horrible things I've done. I really did love you."

"I really loved you too."

"I will miss you Bella. And you mean a lot to me. You know that."

"I don't, actually."

"Of course you don't." He said standing up. "I have to go. Take care of yourself, Bella." I stood up to walk him to my front door and I knew that the minute he walked out that door, he would be gone forever.

"Take care." That was it. Just like that. No tears. Nothing. It was for the best. Even though I felt sad I wouldn't see him anymore, I felt somehow free from him.


	11. Chapter 11

_Live your life  
Come rise up come give love  
What you waiting for  
It's a brand new day  
All along here and now  
What you waiting for  
It's a brand new day_

It was like breathing for the first time. It was like waking up from a very bad dream. It was wonderful. _I_ felt wonderful. It had been a week since I had last seen Jacob. It had been a week since I'd slept with Jasper and it had been a week since Edward had kissed me.

It all felt like a dream. A bad one. A nightmare.

And now, it ended.

Jasper and I had talked things through. We had both been high and drunk. It had been nothing. It had _meant_ nothing. How could it have? I'd still been hung up on Jake that night. Only now, on a wonderfully sunny morning like this, I felt like finally letting go and getting over him.

I opened my window and breathed in the fresh air, deciding that I wouldn't drive my car this morning. I would walk. With a big smile on my face, I walked out of my house, throwing my leather jacket over my hand. It was late September, but the sun was so temptingly warm that I decided to not put it on.

I hadn't been walking for too long when suddenly, I heard the tires of a car shrieking next to me, making me jump a little. My hand flew to my heart and I turned to see who has scared me like this.

"Good morning." Edward's voice was chipper and he was wearing a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You scared me to death." I said a bit harshly but he simply chuckled in response.

"Come in, I'll drive you to school. Did your car break down or something?"

"No. And no thanks." I rejected his offer and began to walk again. I heard the car following me.

"Why? Are you mad at me or something?"

"No. I just want to walk."

"Why?"

"Because it's a nice morning."

"Bella, just get into a car." He said in an annoyed voice, still trailing behind me in his car.

"No. I said I want to walk and that's what I'm doing."

"Bella, seriously. It's a long walk. Just come sit in a car and I will take you to school."

I knew that the kiss between Edward and me didn't meant anything, but whenever I looked at him, it felt like it did. I didn't know why - maybe because of the electrical feeling or because of that heart burning fire which ran through me when his lips moved against mine - but there definitely was something I couldn't figure out or shake off for that matter.

"Okay." I said giving up. No matter how much I wanted to fight this feeling, I was still curious about it. It wasn't like I was falling for him; I wasn't ready for that yet. I shouldn't have been ready for that.

"Great." He smiled and leaned over to open the passenger seat door for me. I thanked him and got in.

"So how did you sleep?" His question made me chuckle but I still responded.

"I slept well. Thank you for asking. How about you?"

"I…I couldn't sleep."

"Why?"

"I don't know, just one of those nights, I guess."

"Oh. Okay. Oh I love this song." I said turning the volume up.

Thesound of _Fashionably late by Falling in Reverse _filled the car.

"You do?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Yes. I'm not one of those girls…" I said with a small eye roll at him. He probably thought that I was just a little Justin Bieber fan like every other girl. Or even worse – a One Direction fan.

"Believe me. I know you are definitely _not_ one of those girls."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just know." He simply answered. I decided not to bug him about it and turned my head to watch the road.

Once we pulled up in parking lot, I unbuckled my seat belt and was about to get out when Edward pulled on my hand. "Bella?" I turned my head to look at him. "Will you need a ride home?"

"Sure."

"And one more thing. There is this party down at the beach; you should guys come." I nodded and got out.

Rosalie was already leaning against her car with her eyebrows risen, watching my every step. I still hadn't told Rose that I'd slept with her brother, but I knew I had to. The lies always caught up with me and I didn't wanted to her find out in some other way.

"Hey." I said in a small voice.

"Hey. So…Edward Cullen takes you to school now?" I couldn't help but bite my lip in the way keeping myself from laughing. I hadn't figured Rose to act this way. Jealous. That was what she was right now. Emmett still hadn't asked her out again and she's going out of her mind.

"Yeah. I was walking and he just drove past and offered me a ride." I defended myself.

"Did your car break? You could've just called me and asked me to take you."

"No. I wanted to walk but he won't let me."

"Okay." I was glad that she stopped bugging me. Then I remembered about Edwards offer and asked Rose already knowing the answer.

"Edward asked if we want to hang out with them tonight at the beach."

"Probably. I have nothing better to do."

"That's what I thought."

The day went on like a blur. Suddenly the only two things in my head were Edwards's sweet lips and Jasper. Yes. I know. I must be crazy thinking about Jasper, but I couldn't forget the fact that I had slept with him and whenever I saw him, I got this tingly feeling in my stomach.

I knew that had been a dumb thing to do. To have slept with him and I knew that it had meant nothing and we'd both been drunk. At least that was what Jasper had said – that we had done stupid things because I'd been too high and he had been too drunk. But then again – what about the next morning? As I recall, he had kissed me the second I had opened my eyes. So what had that been all about?

I knew I was just working myself up, but I got curious. What if it had meant something more to him?

Later that day, Edward drove me home and we spent the whole time talking and laughing. I had fun with him. And I was surprised. I really couldn't recall the last time I had so much fun with a boy.

"I'll pick you up at eight." He called after me when I walked to my front door. "Don't tell Rose, but Emmett is picking her up." He said with a sheepish smile. I nodded and waved him goodbye.

So Emmett was interested in Rosalie after all. The thought of Rose being happy really made me smile. I was hoping she would finally find herself a great guy. Not like Royce. Royce was just wrong on so many levels that I really didn't want to think about.

It was already eight o'clock and Edward was pulling into my driveway. I was glad that my dad was away so I didn't have to introduce them. My dad was a business man and he had to travel a lot because of the meetings he had.

My grandpa died few years ago and left his firm to my father so we have it pretty good now. Before that, my dad hadn't been really interested in those kind of things so he became a police officer, but when grandpa died he left it all to my father who had wanted it to stay in the family.

My dad hadn't been happy about it because he knew how this job could tear you away from the family, but my mom talked him into it pointing out the fact that they had a daughter to rise and the money would be useful.

Of course after a year my mother divorced my father taking almost the half he have and left us. Needless to say that my dad was destroyed, but he still managed to stay solid. He didn't give up; he went back out there and worked even harder to give me whatever I need.

I don't know where my mom was now. Last time I had heard, she met some baseball player and married him. It had been two years ago.

"Hey." Edward greeted me, stepping out of his car. He looked breathtaking and suddenly a rush of confusion shot through me. Why all of a sudden did this boy make my breath catch in my throat?

"Hey." I gave him half hug wrapping one arm around his shoulders and holding my purse with my other hand.

I felt his hand sneaking around my waist pulling me closer and I remembered the feeling from the night he had kissed me. I felt addicted to it. I wanted to feel that way again and again. But I shouldn't be. It would be wrong and I wasn't ready for that. Hell, he probably didn't even want me that way. Why would he? He probably had plenty of girls pining after him.

"Here you go." He said opening the car doors for me. I got in the car and put on my seat belt. The car smelled much like him. Or he smelled a lot like his car. Like a peppermint and honey.

"Are you sure Emmett is picking up Rosalie?" I made sure, wanting to confirm that he hadn't been lying before.

"Yes. He's already on his way. Don't worry.'' His assurance made me feel calm and I relaxed in the car seat.

"So where are we going again?"

"Down at the beach; this guy from the football team owns a house there. His parents had spoiled him and they let him do pretty much anything he wants so he throws parties many times."

He was right. The house surely told that his parents probably had spoiled him. They were fucking rich. I was rich, but I think they were much richer, or they just really did love to threw their money around not like my dad.

We lived in a two-story home. It wasn't a small home, but it wasn't a mansion either. Why would we need a mansion if it was only the two of us?

Once Edward parked his car, I could see Rosalie standing right next to Emmett with his hand wrapped around her waist. She was laughing probably at something that he had said and I couldn't help but smile.

"So you didn't lie after all." I told Edward pointing at where Rose was.

"You thought I was lying?" He fake-gasped.

"No…I just wasn't sure."

"I would never lie to you." Somehow his words really got me. They were hanging in the air and I let them in my heart. He would never lie to me. When he said it, he made pretty sure that I understood every word of his sentence.

He got out of car and opened my door for me. "You should really leave that in the car." He said pointing on my purse. I nodded and threw it in the glove compartment.

"Thank you." I thanked him for holding car doors open for me.

"You are very welcome." The playful smile was dancing on his lips, making me smile. I chuckled as he put his hand out for me to hold and I gladly accepted it.

When we got closer Edward called out for Emmet and he spun around causing Rose to copy his moves. Her eyes instantly fell on our intertwined hands and I started to feel nervous. I didn't know why, but a lot of times I felt like she was my mother. Always watching me with those judging eyes of hers. I knew she didn't mean to, she was just looking out for me.

We were family. Rose and I. Since hers was always away and mine wasn't much of a family either, we were each other's family. So it was just normal that she was looking out for me making sure that I won't get hurt again.

"Hey, you." She said in that parental voice. "Accompany me to lady's room?" She watched our hands and then looked at Edward raising her eyebrow making him understand to let go of my hand.

"Sure." I agreed when Edward let go of my hand and the cold air washed away his warmth.

Once we had pushed our way through the people and were finally in bathroom, Rosalie locked the doors and leaned against the wall crossing her arms and looking at me. I was about to explain that there is nothing between Edward and me, but then her face stretched out in a big grin.

"He likes me. He told me he likes me." She squealed and I let out the breath I didn't knew I was holding.

"That's great."

"I know. I was so afraid that I let my hopes up and he just wasn't interested."

"He was. Now you see."

"Yeah…So what's up with you and Ed? Since when are you two holding hands?"

"Nothing. He just offered me his hand and I took it. He was just polite since I don't know anyone here he just wanted to make me feel safe. I think."

"Okay. Just don't fall for him. You know how he is."

"How he is?"

"Loves them and leaves them. You just got your heart broken. You don't want it to happen again."

"He won't. We are not dating and I'm not sleeping with him."

"But he kissed you. He must want you."

"No. He kissed me just because Jake was kissing someone else. He saw how upset I was and just helped me out to get back at Jake."

"If you say so."

Once we got back Emmett and Edward weren't alone anymore. Jasper, James and two more girls were there. The red head were standing beside James, she looked just amazing with her red, long, curly hair and killer body, and she was pretty too.

The other girl looked much like pixie, she was probably 4'5 or something about it, and she was definitely short with pixie like hair and petite body. She was laughing and touching Jasper and my heart jumped when he wrapped his hand around her shoulders pulling her to his side.

That wasn't jealousy, but it was something. And I really didn't like this feeling. Here I was obsessing over the fact that it maybe meant something to him because he had kissed while he was sober, but actually he already had a girl by his side.

"Hi." Rose said once we approached them. She took her spot right next to Emmett.

"Hey guys." I said looking only at James. He smiled back at me. I turned my head to see Jasper not even looking in my direction.

"Come 'ere." I cocked my head and saw Edward leaning against his car holding his hand open and mentioning for me to him. I obeyed and walked over to him. He put his hands on my hips and pulled my body at his, so now my back was pressed against his chest.

"We are thinking to spend sometime here and then go back to Hales. What do you think?" Edwards asked only loud enough for me to hear.

"Sure. Whatever you guys want." I spoke still looking at pixie wrapping herself around Jasper. I felt upset and he must have sensed it because he slowly spun me around and placed his hands back on my hips holding me close to him.

"What's wrong?" His voice was curious and the frown on his face made me understand that he was upset because I was upset. I immediately felt bad.

"Nothing. Just I remembered the last time that I was at the party." I half lied. He must've thought that I was talking about Jake and that fight, but I was upset over the fact that I had slept with Jasper and now he was here with other girl. But I had no right to be upset with him because I was here with Edward.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. But he's gone and you don't have to feel upset anymore. I'm here to make you happy." He added a small laugh to his sentence making me confused. Then he took something out of his pocket and wiggled the blunt in front of me.

"You think that will make you happy?"

"For a while." Last time I checked it made me even more fucked up and confused.

"For a while isn't enough."

"It isn't." His eyes dropped on my lips and lingered there making me feel nervous. "When you do that, you have no idea how turned on I get." He whispered lowering his head so his lips were right next to my ear sending chills down my spine. I hadn't even noticed that I was biting my lip when his hand reached up and freed it from my teeth.

"You do?" I said teasingly and let my hand travel up his body over his chest and around his neck. I didn't know how I got so bold but I did and I kind of liked it.

"Do you even know how tempting you are?" His voice was low and velvety and my body was on fire again. But not from his kiss, because he didn't kiss me. But from his eyes. The fire were playing in them as he study every part of me. Then someone cleared they throat.

"So guys, this is Victoria." James introduced us with the redhead standing next to him. She smiled shyly and gave us a small wave. "And this is Alice." James continued. "They are sisters?" He questioned his sentence.

"Cousins." Alice rolled her eyes and leaned into Jasper again. "It's lovely to meet you." I started to wonder if Rose know about this Alice before. If she did, why she didn't tell me? But then again, why should she?

"I'm Rosalie and this is my best friend Bella." Rosalie introduced me. "I'm Jasper's sister."

"Hi." She said suddenly blushing.

"So let's party or what?" Rose now was by my side pulling on my hand. "Let go of her." She demanded and Edward let go of me holding his hands up in the air in surrender. "I will give her back to you later." She promised, rolling her eyes and pulled me away. On our way I could feel someone's eyes on my, when I turned I saw Jasper looking at me the way I had never seen him looking.

Lust and anger. That was what his eyes were holding so strongly in themselves.

"So did you know that your brother was dating someone?" I asked trying not to sound so interested in Jasper's love life.

"Yeah. They have been going out for weeks, I guess." I felt my mouth dropping and my heart race to speed up. Jasper had cheated on his girlfriend with me? I was the one person I hated the most. The other woman. I was my own personal Leah – relationship wrecker? No…He couldn't have done that. Jasper won't ever do that.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, he mentioned her few times. "

"Oh…" I grabbed the nearest bottle and poured myself a drink.

"We are leaving guys." Emmett informed us and pulled Rosalie to his side. We both took one last shot of whiskey and followed Emmett out of the house. The air was much colder than earlier and I felt goose bumps on my hands.

"Here you go." Edward put his leather jacket around my shoulders once I walked out of the house.

"Thanks." I gave him a smile and he pulled me close to him.

I didn't know what it was, but there was something going on. James looked at Edward with the same judgy eyes like Rosalie did with me and shook his head.

"What is that all about?" I took myself by surprise when that question escaped my lips.

"What?" James asked.

"That. You two. You always share this look and then there is this tense moments between you two. Why?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Edward simply said and led me away from James to his car. I knew something was going on, but I didn't know what and I promised myself that I would find out. If not today, then someday I will.

Less than half an hour later we were all at Hales. By all I meant even those two girls.

Alice was still attaching herself to Jasper and I couldn't look away if I wanted to. I wanted to slap myself across the face for even feeling the way I felt.

"You alright?" Edwards's voice pulled me out of my absurd thinking.

"Yeah. I'm good." He put his hand around me shoulders once again and I couldn't quite figure out what it all was about? Was he really interested in me that way or was he just being friendly?

"Did I tell you how good you look tonight?" His statement made me blush and duck my head down. He just chuckled, ruffled my hair and squeezed my shoulders. Yep. Definitely friendly.

After a while, we were all sitting in a circle on family rooms floor smoking weed and drinking.

"So the next thing I know he's naked and running around the house yelling." James shared the story about how Emmett set himself on fire. I never laughed so hard in my life. "He was grounded about for a month." James added.

"Well, at least I didn't dragged my girlfriend into my parent's bed." Emmett mocked him.

"What?"

"There was this one time when he got really high and took a girl home. He was so stoned that he got into a wrong room and pushed himself and his girl between his parents."

"Oh my god." I said between laughter. James just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, that's enough with the embarrassing stories."

"What should we do?" Rose asked.

"I want to eat. " I said standing up.

"Oh, me, too." Jasper raised his hand standing up too.

"Great, you guys go and fix something." Thank you very fucking much Rosalie. I walked to kitchen with Jasper following me. I probably did a shitty job hiding how awkward and weird I felt because he spoke up.

"You don't have to feel that way around me."

I walked in to kitchen and Jasper closed the doors behind me. "Its not like something is changed. We already talked this through and besides looks like you have something with Edward?" His tone was judgmental.

"No. I don't have. But you on the other hand had a girlfriend when you slept with me." I whisper yelled at him.

"Touché."

"Let's just forget about it." I said and turned my back to him, looking for something to eat.

"I can't."

I felt my heart stopping.

* * *

**Big thanks to my wonderful beta :) iamsupergirl2**


	12. Chapter 12

_Trust in me, just in me_

_Shut your eyes and trust in me  
You can sleep safe and sound  
Knowing I am around  
Slip into silent slumber  
Sail on a silver mist  
Slowly and surely your senses  
Will cease to resist  
Trust in me, just in me_

"What do you mean you can't?" I asked,turning back to face him. He was standing just a few feet away,making me feel excited and uncomfortable at the same time.

"I..."He took a step closer, "want…"He took another step…"you." He said,before pushing his lips against mine trapping me between him and counter,putting his both hands on the either sides of me.

It was nothing like Edward's kiss. But it was just as great as his. There wasn't fire nor the burning feeling rushing through my veins, but there was something just as fine as that – lust.

I didn't notice when it happened, but I was suddenly sitting up on the counter,with Jasper standing between my legs,his hands grabbing and rubbing everywhere as if he had wanted this _so_ badly. I wondered if that were true. Did Jasper really like me? Or was I just another challenge for him?

He tasted like alcohol and sin.

I pushed him away. I was panting hard,gasping for some air and so was he. He locked his eyes with me and reached for my lips again, but I pushed him further and jumped off the counter.

"This," I began, pointing between us,"can't happen."

I grabbed two packets of chips and began to walk when his voice stopped me "She's not my girlfriend." I didn't let myself be bothered by it. It still was wrong. So I walked out of there.

"You took a while." Rose said,eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yeah, these were hard to find." I tossed her the packet of chips and Emmett immediately grabbed it.

"You look worn out." Edward was looking at my messed-up blouse. I blushed and immediately straightened out my clothes. When I looked back in his eyes,I knew that he _knew._ But he still opened his arms,welcoming me in to his embrace.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing much."

"Okay,guys. I don't know about you, but I'm tired." Rosalie said standing up. "Suit yourself and find a room by yourselves." She added,looking pointedly at me. I knew she wanted me to find another room because she blushed when our eyes locked and I winked at her. I was right; when she left Emmett was following right behind her.

Jasper came back in the room and sat back right next to Alice. She welcomed him with warm smile and wrapped her hand around his waist.

"Where's Rose?" He finally asked and James smirked before answering.

"She went to her room. With Emmett."

"Awesome…" There was sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"What do you guys want to do?"

"I don't know. I'm kind of tired. "James announced.

"Are you tired,Bella?" Edward shrugged my shoulders and I nodded, glancing over at Jasper. I knew what he was thinking about right now because his eyes were dark and the playful smirk was sitting on his lips.

"Yeah…" I tore my eyes away from him and looked at Edward. "Let's go."

Everyone decided to go to sleep.

Since I already knew this house like my own, I headed immediately to the farthest guest room,right at the end of the hallway. Of course,I took Edward with me showing Jasper that he better not even think about sneaking into my room.

"What do you want to do?" I asked bouncing on the bed. Edward pushed his eyebrow together.

"I thought you were tired."

"No. I lied." I patted on the spot next to me and he sat down.

"Why?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" He shrugged. "Let's go smoke." I stood up pulling him with me. The air was wet and cold and kind of refreshing. I rested my elbows on the edge of the balcony and took the cigarette from Edward.

"I like nights. Do you?"

"Yes…I mean…there is something tempting about them."

"Right? I just love it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's been that way since I can remember. "

"There must've been a reason though."

"Maybe. . .How come we were never friends before?" I spoke after a while. I turned at Edward and the moonlight was perfectly covering his face making him looked more dreamy as usual. His eyebrows were raised probably because my question took him by surprise.

"Well,for starters you wouldn't talk to me."

"I wouldn't talk to you?"

"Yes. Whenever I tried to make a conversation with you, you would just shrug or reply poorly. So I stopped bothering." So he had wanted to be my friend before?

"Really? Because maybe I thought you was a jerk, because you were. You always called me klutz or Swan or whatever. And you played with girls. You fucked them and left them. That doesn't make you a really nice person."

"I was just messing with you,_klutz_. I never intended to be a jerk towards you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. And those girls you are talking about – they knew what they got themselves into. So it's not entirely my fault."

"Apology accepted. And yes, but you still shouldn't have used it. It's not nice. Maybe those girls act like they're cool about what you do, but deep inside they probably just hoped that you would change for them."

"Do you mind if I take my clothes off?" He asked,taking me by surprise once we were back in room.

"Sure." I said and walked to bathroom to get change. I always kept spare sleeping clothes at Rosalie's room and she had left those in here on the bed knowing that I would probably choose this room.

Once I was changed into my short shorts and black tight camisole,I walked over to bed where Edward was already under the covers leaning against the headboard with his hands crossed behind his head. I took in his perfect body. He looked like Adonis with his tight lean abs.

"Like the view?" he teased me pulling me out of my daze. I felt embarrassed so I quickly turned the lights off so he wouldn't see my blush.

"I was just teasing you." He spoke once I was under the covers. I felt weird feeling in my abdomen once my skin touched his. Only now I noticed how small this bed was. There was barely room for two of us.

Xzx

I didn't know what time it was, but it was still nighttime because it was so dark outside and the moon was still bright,hanging in the skies. I shifted my body to sleep on my other side when I noticed that Edward's hand was wrapped around me.

The second I moved,his lips attacked mine. I think I even gasped and that allowed his tongue travel into my mouth, exploring everywhere. He moved his body on top of mine not taking his lips away. The fire was back and the kiss consumed every part of me. I let my hands wander around his body but the only place they really enjoyed was his soft hair so I let my fingers tug onto them as he moaned into my mouth. Suddenly,I felt like I had only just woken up now when he let his hand disappear under my boy shorts. So I pushed him away.

"Edward," I panted hard. "I'm not sleeping with you."

He lowered himself back and kissed my lips one more time. For a second,I thought that he was going to completely ignore my demand as he traveled down my jaw line and my collar bone, but then he stopped and rolled off of me.

"I know. I don't want to sleep with you, either." I didn't know how to feel – offended or relieved.

"You don't?"

"No."

I moved my body away from his and turned back to my side. The sudden anger and embarrassment took over my feelings.

"Am I not good enough?"

"No. Of course you are. I just don't want to take advantage of you."

"But you kissed me." He was now on his side,with his chest pressed against my back as he wrapped one hand around my waist and snuggled his face into my hair.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Xzx

"Where are we going?" I was curious as Edward passed the 'Welcome to Forks sign'.

"It's a surprise." He simply answered,not taking his eyes off the road.

Edward was complete mystery to me.

This morning when we had woken up,he had apologized for kiss again and told me that it wouldn't happen again. I felt…disappointed,I guessed. But it wasn't as if I was crushing on him or anything, because I was not. I just really liked his kiss. I'd never felt anything like that in my life and I probably wouldn't. Now I could see what the fuss about Edward Cullen was;if he kissed like that, then he must be really great in bed.

"You know I don't like surprises?"

"Well,you will have to live through this one."

I simply nodded and sat tight in my seat. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining brightly up in the sky. I loved mornings like this – sunny. But I enjoyed rain too. I was fan of gloomy views and raindrops and of course of the wind, how he tugged on every three making them dance.

After an hour or so,I found myself standing about forty feet in the air, balanced on a wire with my both hands grabbing on Edwards shoulders.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I was afraid of heights and I still don't know how he managed to get me up here, but now that I was up there I felt sick to my stomach and scared for my life.

Edward was grabbing the wooden log in front of him. There were another few feet away and another from that and on and on.

"Come on. It will be fun. And besides you can't get off now so you will just need to suck it up and go for it."

"Are you insane?" I looked down one more time and my heart began to race from the sight. "If I die,I hope you take the fall for my death."

The ropes were tiny. Like really tiny and the only two things holding me was some safety strap and Edward. Well,I was holding onto him.

"It's going to be alright."

"If I make it out alright,I'm never talking to you again."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Just trust me."

As we began to move,I felt my legs starting to shake. My hands were still gripping Edward's shoulders firmly.

"Oh my God." I yelled when he let go of the wooden log with one hand to reach out for another. "Edward,I can't do this."

"Yes,you can. I won't let you fall,Bella." He turned his head to face me. "Do you trust me?" His voice was calm and I nodded sliding my foot further on the rope.

We were almost at the end when I started to loose balance. "Edward,I'm falling."

"No,you are not."

"Edward,I will fall and I will die."

"You won't." He grabbed the last wooden log and told me to lean onto him to steady myself. Once I felt steady again,we kept moving. As we reached the last log Edward spoke again.

"Now you have to move so you stand by me."

"Are you fucking kidding?"

"No."

After few deep breaths I moved my left foot and grabbed the log dragging my other foot quickly putting in back on the Edward's rope.

"So now you have to hold tight on this log and I'm gonna jump down."

"Jump?"

"Yes. I will jump and so do you."

"Me? Hell no!"

"Bella,that's the only way down."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No."

"I hate you."

"You don't. I will jump so you hold on tight now. When I will be down you will have to jump too. But I will hold on your rope and let you down slowly and safely, okay?" I nodded once again and watched him jump. Down there,was a guy who was holding on Edward's rope lowering him down safely.

"Are you ready?" Edward yelled up at me and I nodded again. I felt my mouth going dry and my heart beating faster than ever. I slowly moved my legs to a small wooden platform and glanced down there at Edward. He was smiling widely and showing me thumbs up before grabbing on my rope.

"Just trust me, baby." _Just don't pee your pants._ I said to myself before jumping off. The scream escaped my lips and my hands flew to my eyes covering the horrifying view as I was falling down.

My heart almost jumped out of my mouth but then luckily I landed on my feet and yes- I stayed on them just struggling just a little.

"Baby,you can open your eyes." Edward said in a smooth voice cupping my cheek.

"Oh. My. God." I was panting and still shaking from the fear that I was going to die.

"See." The smile on his face was priceless. "You did it." I began to laugh from excitement that I really had done it and I jumped onto Edward wrapping my legs around his waist.

"That was awesome." I admitted,looking into his emerald eyes. "But let's never do it again." He laughed along with me spinning me around.

"My little _Brave heart_." He said putting me back on the ground.

Xzx

**_I need to see you-Jasper_**

**_No. You don't. –B._**

**_Don't do this. You know you want it,too.-Jasper_**

**_No. If you promise to stop, I will promise to forget what happened between us and we can be friends again.-B._**

**_I'm sick of being your friend Bella.-Jasper_**

**_It's that or nothing. –B._**

I set my phone on my nightstand after turning off the sound. A month ago,I had known that my heart and my body were Jacob's. But now things have changed and I was stuck somewhere in the middle of my confusion. I didn't want a boyfriend. Not right now. But Jasper kept this pressure on me.

I remember a few years ago before I started to date Jake,I used to crush on Jasper. But I had figured that most of the girls likes their best friend's brother so I had just left it alone deciding that it was probably because we spent so much time together, all three of us. He was making me feel wanted – that was what I've dreamed of for a long time, to be wanted. And now he was making me feel that way and I was not sure that I can resist him.

But then there was Edward. He had kissed me. Twice. But he was Edward Cullen – Forks biggest player. Although he was trying to make me understand that I could trust him,I somehow couldn't trust myself with him.

I knew the girls Edward had 'dated'. They were all sexy. Leggy with perfect body and easy. And when I was with him – I felt that way too. Easy. I knew I would give in at some point. But I really didn't want to. I already slept with Jasper. Kissed Edward. Kissed Jasper again and kissed Edward again.

It was too much for one girl. I knew Jake had messed me up in my head and now I was so confused that I didn't know what I felt or even_ if_ I did felt something.

The buzzing of my phone pulled my out of my thoughts.

**_Goodnight beautiful.-E_**

I smiled and replied **_Goodnight-B_**


	13. Chapter 13

_I can tell it's real_  
_That glow I feel_  
_Not like it was before I know_  
_You make happiness abound_

"And then, he just asked me to be his girlfriend." Rosalie declared proudly, biting her lip. "I think I'm really falling for him, B."

"That's great." I was happy for Rosalie. She deserved someone who looked after her and loved her. I knew we had each other, but I also knew that would never be enough further in life.

"I know. I think he may be the one."

I knew that it was absurd to think that when you were eighteen years old, but sometimes it happened. There were only a few couples who could make it out of high school and all the way through college.

"Well, I'm very happy for you, Rose." I said in all honesty, adding a small smile.

"Now we need to find a guy for you.'' Her voice was enthusiastic as she spoke those words.

"Do we?'' I playfully raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes." I just laughed and kept walking. We stopped at our lockers. "So where did Edward take you?"

"Don't even ask." I told her the whole adventure and she followed my story with gasps and eye rolls.

"And you jumped?" Rosalie's mouth was hanging open.

"Yes." That earned another gasp from her lips.

"Wow. You must really trust that guy."

"Which guy?" Edward appeared next to us holding his books in one hand and another hand were pushed into his pocket. He looked extra sexy today. His hair was messy as always and he was wearing a gray 'V' neck t-shirt with black jeans and converses to complete the look.

"You." Rose answered in my place.

"So you told her about our little adventure?" He said proudly with a smug smile on his face.

"Yep." I said popping the 'p'.

"She was so scared." He announced. "I was really surprised when she actually did jump off.''

"Well you said that I didn't have a choice." He smirked and ducked his head down biting his lip. "I did have a choice?" I gasped looking at him wide eyed.

"Yeah. There were ladders reaching down from where you stood." I guessed that I had been so nervous that I hadn't noticed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Hey. You liked it so don't even yell at me." He said pointing at me with his index finger.

"I hate you, Cullen." I rolled my eyes at him and shut my locker.

"No. You don't." He sounded sure about his words. "Let's go to class." He put his hand around my shoulders leading me away from Rose. "Bye Rosalie." We both said at the same time.

It was just confusing and amazing at the same time how this boy made me feel. When I was around him,I knew something was up because of the way my body reacted. And when he touched me,it was just like – whoa.

When we were walking,I noticed that most of the girls were glaring at us and that made me feel nervous.

"So did you hear that Em is now Rosalie's boy?" I said proudly and trying to ignore all the looks that we were receiving.

"Yes. I heard that. Its great,isn't it?" He flashed me his wonderful smile making my heat flutter.

"It is. I'm really happy for them." I gripped my books closer to my chest when I felt Edward's hand sliding down and finding it's place on the small of my back. Not only was his kiss like a fire to my heart, his touch was just the same.

"Does this make you feel uncomfortable?" He asked in a worried voice,removing his hand away leaving the slight chill on my back.

"No. It's just…I don't know. Weird,I guess." I tried to get out of awkward situation.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." NO.

"No. You can. It's just…like I said weird and all the girls are staring at me and…" he cut me off with a chuckle.

"It's fine. I understand."

"I don't want them to think that you are my boyfriend or whatever. Since it will bother you anyway when you don't get any action anymore if they will think that."

"Oh." He looked surprise about my answer and pushed his hand back into his pocket.

After the fourth period,I was walking to the cafeteria when James caught up with me.

"Hey, little one." He greeted me and smiled friendly.

"Hey,James."

"So,how is it going? I heard rumors that you are dating my boy Edward?" He sounded surprised and worried at the same time.

"Oh,really? No. I'm not dating him. Where did you hear that anyway?"

"Oh,some sophomore girls were planning how to destroy you and how to make your life a living hell.." My mouth fell open. "Jeez,I'm joking. Well I heard them talking, but believe me, they weren't planning anything against you."

"Well,as I told you – we are not dating." I told him one more time making it clear as day.

"Okay. As you say,little one."

"Hey,guys." Emmett caught up with us on our way.

"Hey,Em. Congrats." I said cheerfully. He blushed a little and nodded.

"On what?" James asked curiously looking at Em and me.

"Emmett here grew some pair of balls and finally asked Rose to be his girlfriend."

"Oh, that's great, she's fine piece of a…" He stopped when he saw my I_'m-not-appreciating-that–you-talk-about-my-friend -that-way_ look. "She is a very great girl with very big personality." He corrected himself with a goofy smile. I rolled my eyes and walked into cafeteria after James held the door open for me.

"What are you getting?" I asked him once we were in the line.

"I think I'm getting pizza."

"I think I will have it,too."

"Shouldn't you eat a salad or something? Since you're a girl and all?"

"Do I look like a Jessica?" He shook his head. "Then there you go. I'm a big girl and I want pizza and other yummy things." I said proudly. Yes there were a times when I ate salad, but mostly because most of the cafeteria food is junk. I was glad that they invented pizza Mondays and Thursdays.

"I saved you a seat." Edward put the chair out for me to sit in.

"Thanks." I set down my plate sitting down next to him. Once I was in my seat I saw James glaring at Edward and shaking his head.

They were inseparable, but lately I didn't see them hanging out with each other as much anymore. And those looks. Why were they acting like this?

I knew if I did ask Edward he wouldn't tell me anyway, so I just needed to wait for him to spill or for Rose to find out from Emmett.

"How is your day so far?" Edward leaned closer to me and talked only so loud that I could here.

"Great. I already heard that there is rumor going around that you are my boyfriend." I said looking at him with

_I-told-you-so look._

"Oh yeah? And it bothers you?" Suddenly it seemed like he was…hurt by my words.

"No." I replied in a low voice feeling bad.

"Shit. I didn't mean to upset you." He must have read my expression. "Bella. Don't feel bad." He snuck his hand around my middle drawing small circles with his thumb on my side.

"I'm sorry. It's just,I don't want people to talk things that aren't true. We are friends. Nothing more." He nodded firmly,taking his hands back to his side.

"Fine. I won't touch you like that anymore." He smiled at me his famous one-side smile which didn't reached his eyes and began to eat his lunch.

During lunch,I could feel Jasper's eyes on me most of the time. When I looked up,he never bothered to turn away. I tried to ignore him for the most of the time, but it was hard to do when he was burning holes into my head.

Xzx

After school ended,we all were hanging in the parking lot by Edward's and Emmett's cars. Rosalie was leaning into Emmett's arms and James was standing right next to her.

"I heard Edward knocked you up;that's why Jake left." Rosalie was telling me the rumor of the day.

"You heard that? I heard that Edward made Jacob leave the town or else." Emmett laughed.

"You guys are such gossipers." I looked at Emmett shaking my head.

"I couldn't help it. You guys were the talk of the school today."

"Great."

"Oh,Bells,don't be like that. Look on the bright side; you have yourself one hot boyfriend." James pointed out making Rosalie nod in agreement while Edward was smiling smug.

"Come 'ere girlfriend." Edward stretched his hands reaching for me and puckering his lips. I pushed him away, but he still wrapped his hands around my shoulders after shifting me so my back was pressed to his chest. He let his hands travel down until they reached my hips and locked them resting his palm on my abdomen with his thumbs hanging on the loopholes of my skinny jeans.

"Aw,let me take a picture." Rosalie took out her phone and took a picture of us. My head was buried into Edwards's chest because I was blushing like crazy from this sudden attention to us.

"Edward." I groaned,spinning my body so I was facing him. My hands were firmly pressed on his chest while his hands were still tightly wrapped around my waist. "Let go of me. You heard what people are already talking about us."

"Let them talk. It's not like it's true. And besides – I like holding you in my arms." He said with a sheepish grin on his face that made me roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, baby."

Third time. That was the third time when he had called me baby. I know a lot of boys called girls like that, even Jasper had called me that once in a while in past, but when Edward called me that it somehow made me…glad.

"I will roll my eyes at you if I want to." I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Very mature,Bella."

"Okay guys, that's enough with PDA." James yelled, but Edward and I just laughed. But still he did let go of me leaving cold trails on my back. I missed his touch already.

"Let's go,Bella,and leave all these haters here." Edward tugged on my hand and pulled me to his side.

"Bye,guys." I said and got into Edward's car.

Xzx

"I'm happy that you just drove to your house instead all the way across the town to make me walk miles again." I said once I sat down on the blanket.

After we left school,Edward and I came to his meadow to spend evening together. There wasn't a lot of homework so we decided to hang out today.

"It's really hot." I announced taking my leather jacket off leaving only my blue cashmere jumper on. To everyone's surprise,the sun was shining bright and warm today. Suddenly it seemed like this town wasn't under the cover of clouds all the time.

"Does it really bother when I touch you public?" he suddenly spoke.

My phone buzzed in my pocket

"Sorry." I said and looked for my phone.

**Bella**,**I really need to see you. Please stop avoiding me. –Jasper.**

I didn't respond, instead I put the phone into my bag and leaned back on my elbows.

"So,about your question. Yes and no. I like it because it's normal, you know? We are friends and friends touch and hug, but then again – you know you. You know that girls follow your every move. And girls are mean and if they think I'm really dating you I don't even know what the consequences will be."

"Are you telling me that you really give a damn about what other girls think?"

_No. But I just really _can't _find the reason why _I _make you not touch me because I think I'm falling for you and it scares me._ "Yes."

"It's stupid. You shouldn't do that."

"Why?"

"Because who the fuck cares about what others are thinking?" I just nodded and looked up to the sky. I was watching them for a moment when he spoke again.

"So you and Jasper,huh?" My heart stopped.

* * *

Huge thanks to my Beta -** imasupergirl2 **:) She's done amazing job, like always :)

And thank you for reading :) Leave your thoughts, so I would know how you liking it so far :)


	14. Chapter 14

"What about me and Jasper?" I felt my heart racing in my chest and my palms getting 's question took my by surprise.

"Don't play stupid with me,Bella. I've seen the way you look at him. You can lie all you want, but I know that you are into him." He was looking into my eyes the whole time he was speaking, probably hoping that I would give a way some kind of emotion. I was getting nervous and afraid that he might be able to figure something out.

"What makes you so sure?" I raised both of my eyebrows at him.

"All the lust and tension between you guys. How he always looks at you, like he can't have you, but at the same time you are already his, aren't you?" I was silent, so he continued. "That's what I thought. How long has it been going on?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." I decided to play dumb with him.

"Bella, babe, I know that there is something between you guys. You like him a lot." He said like it was most obvious thing.

"I don't."

Even I didn't know if I liked Jasper that way.

I knew I wanted him. He was sexy and arrogant and somehow those things about him just seemed to pull me in. But then again – everything about Edward pulled me in too. The way he talked to me, the way he looked at me. I trusted Edward. But I wasn't sure if I could ever trust Jasper.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"Listen, it's complicated. I liked him a long time ago, before Jake. But I couldn't, you know? Because of Rose;she would flip. So I let it go. Then that night when you and Jake got into a fight, I got really drunk and high and I…I slept with Jasper." I didn't know why I was telling him all this, but it felt so easy to talk to him and I knew he would never judge me. "I thought it was just that. But then the next morning he kissed me and I kissed him back and that threw me off. I wasn't expecting for him to have some kind of feelings or I wasn't even thinking that it meant more to him than to me, but then again, it was Jasper. He just _loves_ girls. I'm confused." It finally felt good to tell someone what I've been holding in for so long.

"Why would you think Rosalie would flip?" he was curious.

"The same reason why Jasper doesn't like that Emmett is with Rose. It's a thing.

Girls don't mess with their best friend's brother."

"But you slept with him,anyway." He pointed out on my mistake.

"Yeah, but I was wasted."

"And have you been sleeping with him ever since?'' He was looking down at his hands.

"No." I gasped.

"Okay." he looked up and nodded.

"Okay?" That was it? No more questions?

"Yes. Okay. "

"Okay,then."

**xZx**

**_ It's sunny in here, much different from Forks. – Jake_**

**_You must be really happy. –B_**

**_Yeah. I just…I miss you.-Jake_**

**_I miss you,too.-B_**

I did miss him. How could I not? He was my boyfriend for so long and I have known him all my life. I knew he treated me badly, but he still meant a lot to me.

**_So how are you doing? - Jake_**

**_I'm great. Rose has a boyfriend now. Emmett McCartney-B_**

**_That's great. So you han_**g**_out with those guys a lot_**,**_then.- Jake_**

**_Yeah, we spend time together-B_**

**_So any new boyfriend? –Jake_**

"Boo." My eyes suddenly were covered with someone's hands. "Watcha doing?" I would know that velvety voice anywhere.

Since our last talk yesterday nothing was changed, he still acted the same way around me like before and I was really glad about it and about the fact that he didn't make a big deal out of it. Because it wasn't. As much as I was lusting after Jasper, I would never be with someone like that again.

It was just a lust and that was that. I mean I have been only with one guy, it was normal to be confused about what I wanted now that I was single and after all that happened between Jasper and I.

"Hey." I said once he removed his hands from my eyes. He sat down in his spot right next to me, positioning him self so that his body was facing me.

"So, listen, what do you say about action movies?"

"What about them?"

"The guys and I are throwing movie night at my house tomorrow night, so I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Is Rose going?"

"I don't know. I will ask Emmett. Why? You can't go if she isn't going?" He teased.

"No. I can,of course, it would just be weird with only you and Em, James and…"

"Jasper." He finished.

"Does he bother you?"

"No." I lied. Of course he bothered me. When he was around,I didn't know what it was that I felt. It wasn't warm feelings that fill your heart when you like someone. It was eagerness and lust. I've always been a good girl until that night. I always had feelings for only one guy and I always slept with only one guy, but this was single had gotten me confused.I was not sure what I wanted anymore and that made me feel somehow bad. Suddenly I didn't love _one _guy. I wanted _two_ guys. _Two_ completely different guys. And that made me feel bad. I couldn't have them both. I knew that.

Later that night,I sat on my bed making a list. Yes, I was actually making a list with cons and pros. Why,you may ask?All because of the fact that I wasn't sure what I wanted and most importantly– whom?

When I was getting myself out of my miserable fucked up relationships,I somehow got pulled into high school drama. And I wasn't ready for that but that didn't matter, because I was already in it and the only way out was _one_ or the _other _guy.

So from now on, I would have my list with me and I would add cons and pros when I found anything my list looked like this:

**Pros**

1. Fun

2. Trust

3. Communication.

4. Attraction

5. Looking out for me

6. He makes me feel safe

For now,that would be it for the pros.

**Cons**

1. Cheating

2. Hard to trust

3. Overprotectiveness

4. Disagreements

5. Insecurity

6. Ignorance

7. Obsessiveness.

I hoped I wouldn't find anything else to add on this list.

xzx

"I thought you said action movies?" I glared at Edward while James put the _Texas chainsaw_ in to DVD player.

"I knew you would never come if I told you the truth. Besides remember, stay by my side and nothing bad will happen to you." He assured me,putting his hand around my waist and pulling me to him.

"Bella,you only play being such a baby because you want Edward to hold you." Emmett taunted, earning a flying pillow to his head.

"Take that,bitch." I glared at him; but he just chuckled and threw the pillow back.

He was right. I liked how Edward held me in his arms, but I also liked the way Jasper shot daggers at him whenever he touched me. I knew it was a dirty game that I was beginning to play, but I enjoyed it and I was not a shamed of it.A girl can enjoy a little attention once in a while.

Later that night,I found myself snuggled up against Edward with his both hands around my body,holding me close to him.

It seemed perfect. At the moment,at least. But I couldn't keep my eyes on the movie, not only because I hated horror movies, but mostly because Jasper was sitting to my left perfectly right where I could see him if I wanted to. I knew he was looking at me. I could feel his stare so I let myself lean more into Edward showing him that he was not the only one who could play with other people's feelings. As those boys always say – _Don't hate the player, hate the game._

Somehow I_ did_ really want him to leave me alone. Because I already felt bad enough and if he would leave me alone and move to his another victim I could be free of him and that would give me the chance to explore this thing with Edward. Not that we had a thing, but I knew there were some chemistry between us that I couldn't ignore.

Like right now, when his hand snuck under my shirt. This electricity that was hot through me when ours skin touched, that took my breath away. And I knew if I let myself explore this that it would be worth was not everyday you get a feeling like this.

But Jasper. Just like Edward I couldn't push him out of my mind.

"Well,that was an awesome movie." Emmett said,getting up and turning the lights on.

"Oh,yeah, really enjoyable." I said sarcastically,causing everyone to laugh.

"Bella." Rose was by my side. "I'm taking Emmett home; can you get a ride from someone?" She was looking at me with pleading eyes and I simply nodded. _Whatever that makes Rose happy._

"I can take her home." Jasper announced. I looked over at him and the smirk was spreading over his lips as he licked them.

"Oh,I actually told her I would drop her." Edward cut in,locking eyes with Jasper. "Right,Bella?" he asked,not taking his eyes away from Jasper. I nodded slightly,holding back the grin that was eager to break out. Suddenly it felt good. Maybe this was why Jacob was going around, because it felt good to feel like there was not only one, but two people fighting over you.

"Okay,then. See ya." Rosalie called before walking out of the door. Everyone else left too leaving Edward and me alone.

"I'm not taking you home." He said with his crooked smile plastered on his face. "You are staying the night."

Sudden thickness of awkwardness filled the air.


	15. Chapter 15

_I remember what you wore on the first day_  
_You came into my life and I thought hey_  
_You know, this could be something_  
_I remember every look upon your face_  
_The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste_  
_You make it hard for breathing_  
_Cause when I close my eyes and drift away_  
_I think of you and everything's okay_  
_I'm finally now believing_

I ended up back in the same couch where I had been just a few moments ago, with my feet on Edward's lap, and steaming coffee on the coffee table. Edward admitted that he wanted to spend some quality time with me and that he liked to hang out with me, so I obeyed.

"So, where are your parents?" I asked, noticing that they hadn't been around the entire evening that we had been here.

"They are on vacation; my dad is a doctor and he works a lot, so, once in a while, my mom pulls him out of his work and takes him some place nice." He took a sip from his coffee and handed me mine. I gladly accepted it. "So, how about your Dad?"

"How do you know it's just my dad?'' I asked, cocking my eyebrow.

He was silent for a few seconds, but then he spoke. "It's a small town, everyone knows everything about everyone."

"Then, if you know all about everyone, you must know that my dad is a businessman and travels a lot." I said mockingly. "He's not much around."

"Do you miss him?"

"Like all the time." I admitted.

"I miss my parents too when they are gone, but I kind of like when they are not here."

"Why?"

"I guess I just like to be alone."

"Then why did you made me stay?"

"First – I didn't make you. You could've easily said no. And second, as I already told you, I enjoy your company." He added his tempting smile that made my cheeks burn.

"And now that you got my company, what are we going to do, Cullen?"

"Cullen?" He quirked his eyebrows.

"Sorry … Edward." I let my eyes roll, earning a chuckle.

Xzx

''Okay, first lie?''

We ended up playing twenty questions.

"I once lied to my dad saying that I didn't feel well and that he needed to come home. All I actually wanted was for him to be home with me and Mom." He said, looking down at his hands, clearly embarrassed.

"So you are a family guy, huh?" He blushed a little, but I gave him a small smile showing him that it was great quality for a boy.

"You could say so" was his answer.

"I think that's great."

"Okay, childhood memory closest to your heart?"

"My mom and I used to go on picnics … But not usual kind. She used to take me to a forest. Near the playground, there is this forest and you needed to walk for few minutes and you reach this small beautiful clearing with few stumps. She would find the biggest and cover it with green table sheet and set up lunch for us. It was magical; like we were in a fairy tale."

I blushed not because I was embarrassed, but because I let myself share this with him. I haven't even told this memory to Jake, neither to Rosalie.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He sat up, putting his elbows on his knees.

I nodded warily.

"Once, when I was, I think, five, maybe six, I was playing in a playground and I saw this girl running as if someone were chasing after her, I looked around, but I couldn't see anyone, not even her parents. When she had run past me, I had been able to see her tear strained face and her hair sticking to her face. She was running towards the forest but before she could reach it, she fell, so I quickly got out of the sandbox and ran to her. I could see that her pink sweater was destroyed by mud and I felt sorry for her because she was already upset. When she looked up, I lost my breath, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, even if her chocolate brown eyes were covered with thick wet eyelashes and red puffiness and her cheeks now were covered in dirt, she was still the most beautiful girl. She reminded me of princess. I helped her up and asked where she was going and she told me she was looking for her mommy that her mommy was in the forest, so I let her go, but I shouldn't have." Finally he looked up at me. I was still gaping at him with my lips slightly parted.

"That was the day when I got lost in the forest." I couldn't believe that I had pushed this memory of him out of my head. Now I remembered the beautiful boy with hair like fresh penny and eyes so green like the precious emeralds.

"Yeah, that was the day. Few days later, I saw you again. You were sitting on the swing looking at the forest. You weren't sad anymore, you were scared." He was looking somewhere in the space like he was watching the scene right in front of him.

"You had come up to me and asked me if I had found my mommy." I said quietly, remembering what had happened.

"And you had told me that she was gone." He stated and looked back at me.

"And you asked if you can come with me if I was going to look for her again in the forest and I told you that I can't."

"Because you were afraid that you wee not going to find her again." There was a silent pause before he spoke again. "That's why I made you walk that day through the forest. You weren't afraid of them. It's something else you are afraid of and we both know what it is."

xzx

"So, did you sleep with him?" Rosalie was looking at me with wide, hungry eyes hoping to hear some dirty details about last night.

"Of course not."

"Why? You rejected him?" She pushed her eyebrows together, looking at me confused.

"He didn't even tried to kiss me." I explained, knowing that my voice was filling with disappointment.

I had wanted him to kiss me. I would have kissed him myself, but I hadn't felt so bold when I was around him in the beginning. After our talk yesterday, however, something had happened. I had let him see the sad side of me. Not I lost my boyfriend sad part, but I lost my mommy sad part.

But after talking about the incident with him, I had somehow felt closer to him, closer than anyone before.

"Are you seriously telling me that Edward Cullen, the school's biggest player, never even tried to get in your pants?" Her voice was completely shocked when she spoke those words. I wanted to protest and tell her that he wasn't that bad, and that biggest player of Forks High was her asshole of a brother, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Yes. I mean, why would he? We are friends. And he's a really a great guy and besides I haven't seen those sluts hanging on his arm lately." That statement surprised even myself. He really wasn't seen around with girls anymore … wonder why that was.

"Okay, but admit it that you are head over heels in love with him."

"Are you insane?" I almost yelled.

She laughed her beautiful laugh and linked her hand with mine.

"Come on, babe, I was joking."

"So how are things with you and Emmett?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"We are fine. We have so much in common. Like our appetite for sex." She licked her lips and winked at me. I just shook my head and followed the other students inside the building.

"Is sex all you ever think about?"

"Baby." Emmett appeared next to us and kissed Rosalie's lips. "Hi, Bella." He turned his attention to me, adding a small wave.

"Hey. Okay, see you guys at lunch." I waved them goodbye and went to my locker. To my surprise, there stood Edward Cullen with his back pressed to a locker next to mine and holding one red rose in his hand. He tilted up his head to look around and his eyes found mine quickly.

"Hey." I said in a more than necessary happy voice.

"Hey, Bella." He straightened up and flashed me one of his famous smiles. "Happy birthday." he said handing me the red rose. My lips parted and I bit my lower lip keeping myself from grinning like and idiot. He knew that it was my birthday today.

"Thank you." I said accepting the rose and he surprised me by leaning down and kissing my cheek. "How did you know, though?" I was curious since I had never told him.

"I just knew." He smiled like he was keeping a secret and I decided to let it go.

"You shouldn't have." I said lifting the rose up. "I really don't do birthdays and all that comes with them, but thank you. It means a lot."

"You are very welcome, beautiful." I felt my cheeks burning up and quickly turned my attention to my locker putting my books back in and taking out the right ones. "So how are you feeling this morning?" His velvety voice really did some things to me. It made my heart go all wild.

"Well, you already know since you drove me to school and all."

"I'm just making sure that you are still okay and nothing had upset you." It made my heart all warm knowing that he cared that much about me. He carefully put his hand around my shoulders squeezing them.

"Well, I'm just fine." He removed his hand from my shoulders and took the books from my hands. "Edward, you don't have to."

"I want to." He put on his crooked smile and began to walk to my next class. Once we reached my class he handed me the books and kissed my cheek before leaving.

I stood there stunned, looking at him as he walked away and feeling like a little girl who just had her first crush. Suddenly, he turned around and began to walk backwards, yelling, "Save the rest of the day free. I've planned something for you, beautiful."


	16. Chapter 16

**''Sometimes we just need someone who is like a pencil with an eraser, to write happiness, and erase all the sadness.''**

"Oh, my," I said when Edward put a blindfold on my eyes as we got into his car. "Why the blindfold?" I demanded, both immensely curious and excited at once.

"So that you won't see where I'm taking you, silly." He chuckled lightly as he started the car.

I felt all warm and happy inside. Edward Cullen was surprising me on my birthday. In a million years, I would have never thought that something like this would be possible. The guy who barely talked to me for years was now acting as though he was best friend and I couldn't be anything but happy about it.

The drive wasn't too long so I guess that we would be staying in Forks. Once Edward stopped the car and helped me out, I couldn't hear a single thing. It was silent and the barely warm air was caressing my cheeks.

"Are you excited, princess?" He whispered in my ear, pushing his hand over my lower back and gently nudging me to direct me ahead.

"You have no idea." I admitted.

"Well, I'm just hoping you will love it. I'm scared, actually." He said truthfully making me frown. Why would he be scared? I was the one with my eyes blindfolded with no idea where I was.

"Why are you scared?"

"You will understand later. Now walk, princess."

We walked a little while. Edward was leading me with his one hand around my waist. I was excited for both, for the surprise and for the feeling that was running through me of his touch. I know it was just a touch, but with Edward, that wasn't so simple. Everything he did or the way I felt around him was just consuming. And I wanted more of it with every passing second.

"We're here." His voice was nervous and I couldn't figure out why until he took the blind fold off my eyes letting me see what he had planned. The tears began to swell my eyes as I overlooked the scene in front of me.

We were in the meadow, in front of me stood set table with green sheet over it and green chairs right across from each other. The table was set with also green glasses and green plates. In the middle of the table stood vase with one red rose and around it was the brunches with small colorful leaves added to them making it look just perfect.

He remade my picnics with my mom from when I was little. It made my heart flutter.

"You're angry. You don't like it. I should've known." He was shaking his head.

"No. I like it."

He looked up at me in a surprise. "You do? But you have tears in your eyes and..."

I cut him off. "I like it. I'm sentimental, that's why the tears. It's really lovely." I gave him an honest smile and he accepted with his own smile.

"I just...You told me this story about you and your mom and I know how much you miss her so I thought -"

"It's wonderful." I stopped him from talking. He really was scared and nervous, but I tried to show him that I was really happy with another smile for him. "When did you do all this?" I asked, wiping away the tears.

"During third and forth period. I ditched, but don't worry, I pulled you out telling Missis Cope that you weren't feeling well."

"Thank you. For all of this." He nodded and pulled out one of the chairs for me to sit. I smiled and sat down.

"Anything for that lovely smile of yours." His sentence made me blush ten shades of red.

"Why, though?" I wondered why would he go through all that trouble just for me to smile?

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"As I already told you – you're my friend. I saw how upset you were yesterday when we talked. And I know you've been through a lot of crap lately and I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"You are so sweet, you know that?" He smiled at me locking his green eyes with my brown ones.

"Enjoy your cupcake." He said taking off the cap of the plate in front of us. There stood six pink cupcakes.

"Did you make them?" I cocked and eyebrow at him surprised.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, I wish. My cousin baked them. I can't cook or bake so I'm totally useless in the kitchen."

"You make tasty coffee." I said to cheer him up and I earned a smile.

"Eat your cupcake." He demanded, pointing at the plate between us.

We were talking and laughing enjoying each other's company and we lost track of time. It was twilight already as we decided it was time to go because it was getting chilly.

"I really had a lovely time with you today." I admitted when we finally reached the front door of his house.

He looked at me putting his hand around my shoulders and squeezing them. "I'm really happy about that. But its not over yet." He said and opened his house doors.

"Surprise!" I heard from multiple voices as the lights came up in to his house and there stood many people.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Rosalie screamed running my way and pulling me into bone crushing hug. I stood there still stunned, but hugged her back, anyway.

"It's a surprise party." She smiled from ear to ear. "For you. Edward made this happen." She said, giving him a wink.

"I'm...surprised." I said adding a small chuckle. I really was surprised. I hadn't been expecting this. Not at all.

"Do you like it? Are you happy?" She asked putting her hands on my shoulders as the worried look overtook her face.

"Yes. I'm great. It's really amazing, you guys." I smiled at her and wrapped one hand around her shoulders and the other hand around Edward's waist pulling them both into a hug.

"I'm glad you are happy, Bella." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Okay. Your dress is upstairs. Follow me." Rosalie tugged on my hand dragging me through the living room and up the stairs to Edward's room.

On his bed sat deep blue mini dress with no sleeves. I looked over at it and then at Rosalie; she smiled sheepishly.

"Isn't it too short?"

"No. It's perfect. You have amazing body and legs that goes on and on. Put it on." She urged me. I listened and after few minutes, I was wearing the blue dress. It looked really great on me. I hugged Rosalie and thanked her telling her that I would give it back to her tomorrow.

"Oh no, silly. It's my gift to you. I didn't know what to get you so I got you a dress. A girl can never have too many clothes, right?" I laughed in response as we both walked out of Edward room and back to the party.

"Bella, congrats." Emmett hugged me and handed me a small box. "It's from James and I." James wrapped one hand around my waist as he pointed to the box in my hands.

"Open it." He ordered. I wasn't one to protest so I did as he told me to. In the box, I found the most beautiful bracelet. It was silver and with many small diamonds.

"Guys, I love it." I kissed both of them cheeks and asked for James to put it on my wrist.

"Here you go, doll." He said as he let go of my hand. "By the way, you look very beautiful tonight."

"Thank you." James smiled down at me and kissed my cheek. By this time Jasper had joined us. I suddenly felt nervous. It always happened when I was around him lately.

"Bella, happy birthday." He congratulated me, pulling me into a hug. He was hugging me longer than necessary and I saw frown sitting on Edward's face as he watched both of us. "It's for you." Jasper said, handing me my gift.

"Thank you."

"I hope you like it." I could hear honesty in his words. When I opened it, I was surprised to see an edition of Wuthering Heights.

"I've seen you reading that book million times. And the book looked pretty worn out so I just thought it would be great to get you a new edition. So you can wear out this one too." He was mumbling and trying to make sense.

"Thank you. I love it. I was actually going to buy new edition so you beat me into it. Thank you." He smiled shyly and looked down at his hands.

"Your welcome" was all his said.

"Can I have this dance?" Edward asked, cutting in.

James gave him that look again and that started to irritate me. What the hell was going on between them?

"Bella?"

"Oh. Yes."

Rosalie took the book from my hands and told me that she was putting it in to her bag so it wouldn't get lost. I took Edward's hand and let him lead me to the dance floor which was set in his huge family room.

"So...thank you for the party."

"You are very welcome." He put his hand around my waist and took my hand into his other pulling me close to him. I could breathe in his scent which made tingling feelings in my tummy.

We danced silently, not speaking to each other again. And even if we tried to talk, I wasn't sure if I could. All I could think about was his hands on my body and the electricity going through me whenever we touched.

I was thinking that I started to really like Edward. Whatever feelings I was feeling towards Jasper I was sure it was only temporary.

But it didn't matter what I felt for this boy. I knew I wasn't ready to step into a relationship again and I wasn't even sure that Edward wanted me that way. As he already told me today – he was my friend. And only that.

"Here, let's step out. I have something for you." I quietly followed him outside and we stopped by the swing in his back yard. He sat down pulling me with him.

"Happy birthday." he said handing me a small box while I gaped at it stupidly.

"Thank you." I met his gaze and he smiled at me brightly, making my heart jump.

"It's beautiful." I commented in awe once I opened the box. It was a silver necklace with emerald green four clover charm hanging on it. "I love it." I almost yelled as I pulled him into a hug.

"You like it?"

"Of course I do. But why clover though?" I was curious.

"Well you are _Libra_. Four leaf clovers are lucky charms for Libras."

"Yeah. I think I've read it somewhere." The blush crept on my cheeks. "I also remembered that emerald green is my color too."

"I know. That's why the clover is emerald."

"Your eyes. They are emerald, too."

Edward was my lucky charm. Indeed he was. He made me happy and nothing bad had happened since he entered my life. Only good things. Happy things.

"Oh, there you guys are. Bells, its time for cake." James announced as he appeared in front of us ruining our moment.

"We should go." Edward stood up offering me his hand and I gladly accepted it.

Xzx

"Okay, give me another one."

Rosalie reached for the bottle and poured me another shot of tequila.

"Hey, girls." Jasper walked in to the kitchen and sat down between me and Rosalie.

"Hey Jazz." We both said at the same time. "Drink?" Rose asked her brother, wiggling the bottle in the air.

"Sure thing, sis." Rosalie poured our glasses and we took our shots.

"There you are." James said entering kitchen with Edward by his side.

Rosalie searched for her boyfriend. "Hey, guys, where's Emmett?"

"We don't actually know." James admitted and sat down across from me.

"I'll go look for him." Rose stood up and went to look for her boyfriend, leaving me and the guys alone.

"So, how does it feel to be eighteen years old?" James asked making me look up.

"I don't feel much difference."

"You don't? Why? I mean you are a big girl now. And adult."

"Yeah… Don't feel like it, though." I chuckled and drowned down another shot of tequila.

"Where did you go today? I didn't see you at lunch."

"Oh...Edward kidnapped me."

James eyes shot up at Edward giving him this look again and that had done it. I shot up and tugged James with me out of the kitchen, leading him down up to Edward's room.

"What's going on?" He was obviously confused and alarmed.

"We need to talk. What the fuck is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean whenever I'm with Edward or he does something or we talk or we just spend time together, you always stare at him with this weird look on your face like...oh my God. Are you in love with me?"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter songs:

Dead by sunrise - Let down

Augustana - Stars and Boulvards

I walked through the hallway, gripping my books close to my chest, trying to avoid everyone's eyes. I had been under the radar all weekend, I'd been avoiding even Rosalie. I wanted to talk to her, to tell her what was going on but I couldn't and that made me feel even worse. I knew I needed to tell her about Jasper and I.

After the talk with James, I had been pretty confused and angry, too. Suddenly it all felt like pretence. Everything that had happened lately seemed like a complete lie. Here I thought that the clouds were rolling out of my life and rays of sunshine were filling it, but I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

_Flashback._

_"I mean whenever I'm with Edward or he does something or we talk or we just spend time together, you always stare at him with this weird look on your face like...oh my God. Are you in love with me?" _

_James gaped at me for a few seconds before his face broke out in to a smile._ "_Doll, your beautiful and all, but I'm just not that into you." He bit his lip, probably keeping himself from laughing. _

_Suddenly I felt pretty stupid about my assumptions._

"_Okay, then tell me what is it." I crossed my hands over my chest. "Tell me what's going on between you and Edward." He took in a deep breath not taking his eyes off of me._

"_It's really not my place Bells."_

"_James, please."_

"_Sit." He demanded and I obeyed. "Edward is playing a dirty game." Him? I thought I was the one playing it. "He...How can I explain this to you."_

"_Try."_

"_Remember Maria?" I frowned. What her got to do with all this. I nodded and told him to go on. "Well, she was Jasper's girlfriend as you already knew that."_

"_So?"_

"_I'm really not sure if I should tell you this. Let me ask, do you have feelings for either one of them? For Jasper or Edward?" _

_I tried to hide my ashamed face as I nodded, not looking in James's way._

"_No matter what I tell you, don't let it mess with your head, okay? Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I'm not. Okay, Maria. She was a beautiful girl. Saint-like, you may think. The way she dressed and acted." She was indeed very beautiful and she seemed like a great girl. Good girl. "I'm making this short. Edward was with her first. She was in love with him and he was madly in love with her, well madly as a fifteen year old boy can be in love. But something happened and she dumped him for Jasper. Jasper loved her and she loved him, or at least everyone thought she did until one day Jasper found her in bed with another guy." _

_My stomach made flips. I already knew where this was going._ "_Edward." I let the word roll over my lips as I felt my body go cold._

"_Edward."_

"_Why?"_

"_I don't know. We never talked about it. Maybe revenge. She played them both as soon appeared that she sleeps around. Later, she fell pregnant and moved away. They went on like nothing had happened and it was all forgotten until you."_

"_Me?"_

"_Yeah.''_

"_Why me?"_

"_They both have feelings for you. But one of them fell for you first. I know that."_

"_And by the dirty looks you're giving Edward, I assume the first was Jasper."_

"_Yes. So that's why I act that way. Edward maybe loves you, but maybe he's playing you. As much as I love the guy, I don't like this. He knows that Jasper had feelings for you long time ago. And I'm not sure if he really loves you or is he doing this because Jasper loves you." _

_Loves? When did this happen?_

"Bella." I heard the velvety voice from my behind and all my nerves went on alert. I wiped away the tears from eyes and pushed my head into my locker so that he wouldn't be able to see that I'd been crying just now.

"Edward." I said not turning around.

"Hey, are you avoiding me?" He let his body lean against the locker next to mine. I bit my lip and pulled my head out of my locker, facing him.

"No. Why would I do that?" Because maybe you are lying dirt bag? And you just acted nice to get back at Jasper?

"I don't know. You haven't responded any of my texts or phone calls." He wore a worried look on his face making me feel little guilty for upsetting him. No. He didn't get to be upset. I was the one who had all rights to be sad and feel disappointed.

"I didn't feel well. I got sick so..." I lied. I didn't know if I should tell him that I know everything or should I play along and see what happens. What if James was right? What if Edward was really playing me just to get back at Jasper? But what if he wasn't? What if he really liked me or he really wanted to be my friend? I was confused. Everything felt so simple few days back and now everything was fucked up again.

"Do you feel better now?" His eyebrows were pushed together and he let his hand rest on my lover back. I simply nodded and moved away, making his hand fall off my back.

His face fell.

"Okay." He said awkwardly, moving away from me. "Talk to you later." With that he turned around and walked away to his class, leaving me standing there staring after him.

* * *

The day went on in a blur and it wasn't long before I found myself sitting at our lunch table. Rosalie was sitting next to me chatting away with Emmett leaving me alone. She knew something was up, but she didn't bother to ask knowing that I would tell her when I was ready.

But I would never be ready to tell her what was going on because it all included her brother and I really wasn't in the mood of losing her as my best friend.

"Hey." I looked up and saw Jasper standing by my side. "Is this seat taken?"

"No." I let my gaze fall back on my salad as I pushed them around the plate.

"Are you okay?" I nodded in response. "Bella. You don't look alright, are you sure everything is fine?"

How could everything be okay? Here I thought Jasper was the bad guy being the biggest man whore of Forks High, but as it appears Edward was the bad guy. Jasper actually was the guy who _loved _me. I still wasn't sure if that part was true or not. Suddenly my life was upside down again.

"I'm fine."

"If you say so." He decided to let it go, making me feel relieved. By this time Edward and James had joined us. When Edward saw Jasper sitting next to me I saw a glimpse of confusion on his face, but he shrugged it off and sat down across from me.

"Hey, Bella bean." James greeted me.

I smiled at his new nickname for me. "Bella bean?"

"Yeah. Sound cool doesn't it?"

"Very cool." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"What's up, guys?" James called out to Emmett and Rosalie. They didn't respond. "Yo guys!" James said a little louder causing Rosalie to look his way. James grinned watching Rosalie's annoyed face. "So how is it going, you two?"

"Fine. Thanks." She spat, turning her head back to Emmett.

"Hey, guys, did you hear? There is awesome party in Port Ageless. I think we should go. It's at this club _Twilight_, we just need to get fake IDs." Emmett whispered leaning in.

"Oh, sounds awesome." James nodded his head. "You in girls?"

"I am. What about you, Bella?" Rosalie asked, turning hear head towards me.

"Why the hell not."

"Great. Edward? Jasper?"

"I'm in." They both said at the same time. I looked up and my eyes locked with Edward's. He looked emotionless and upset and I wondered whether it was because of me or because his plan suddenly wasn't going on pretty well. It really broke my heart thinking that he was just playing me, but was it really just consequences?

"We should get to Port Angeles right after school on Friday. We can stay at my cousin's Royce house."

They kept talking about this Friday and I let myself zoom out of this conversation. After a while I heard my name being called out.

"Bella are you ready?" Edward asked, suddenly standing up and I realized that it was biology which I shared with him. Awkwardly, I stood up and hoped he wouldn't ask me what was going on.

Once we were out of cafeteria, he spoke. "So, I've noticed that for some reason you are really avoiding me."

"I'm not." I added a small smile and kept my eyes on the ground. Even though it was a lie, it sounded convincing.

"You usually sit with me at lunch." His voice cracked a little as he spoke.

"Well, you weren't there so..."

"So you let Jasper sit next to you."

"And what's it to you?" I was starting to feel annoyed with him. Why all of a sudden he thinks he can tell me where and with who to sit?

"What's wrong with you? Why are mad at me, what did I ever do to you?" He stopped, pulling me by my wrist making me stop, too.

"Just leave me alone." I yelled, pulling my hand away from his and walked to my class, leaving him behind.

After that, he didn't even looked at me in biology and that somehow annoyed me. Even though I wanted him to leave me alone so I could figure this out I also wanted for him to fight a little more.

* * *

By the end of the day, I felt really guilty for bursting out at him that way. What if he really wasn't playing some games and I was just jumping into conclusions? I needed to talk things trough with him so I jumped in to my car and drove to his house hoping that he would want to talk to me even after getting yelled at in front of so many students.

I was beginning to get nervous when I drove through all of the trees which led to Edward's house. I saw two cars sitting in his yard, one I recognized, it was his silver Volvo, but the other, I hadn't seen around.

I took a few deep breaths and got out of my car. I took small steps when I walked up his doorsteps and my nervousness suddenly turned into some other feeling I couldn't quit figure out.

Edward's front doors were made out of glass so I could perfectly see him standing in his foyer with his hands tightly wrapped around Alice. The same Alice who was dating Jasper.

**So, what do you think? Is Edward really playing Bella or its all just a big misunderstanding? Whats your favorite song when you're feeling sad?**

**Leave your love, I appreciate it :)**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta - imasupergirl2**


	18. Chapter 18

I lifted my hand up to ring the doorbell for the fourth time and suddenly the doors flew open. I stood there with my mouth slightly open and my hand still up in the air. I wasn't expecting him to answer the door.

''Bella?" He asked eying me.

I put my hand down and licked my lips nervously.

''Um, is Rose home?" I tried to get out without choking on the limp in my throat. After hearing the story that James had told me, and seeing Edward with Alice, was really getting me upset.

''No, Emmett's parents went for a business trip so she's staying there for tonight. Is everything okay?" The tone of his voice was worried and sincere.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied, not looking him in to the eye. I had really wished that Rose would be here so that I could talk to her and tell her everything. I was done hiding everything from her and I just wanted for her to hold me and tell me that everything would be just fine, like she usually does.

"Maybe you want to come in?'' His offer surprised me.

I thought for a moment and chose to accept his offer because I didn't wanted to go home to an empty house and be alone with my thoughts; it would only make it worse. So I nodded and stepped in.

''I was watching a movie, maybe you can join and we can watch it together or you can just pick another one." He spoke, walking backwards. I nodded and he spoke again. ''I will get some snacks. Do you want something to drink?"

"Coke." He nodded and turned to walk to the kitchen leaving me alone by the entrance of their family room. I noticed that the Death Race 2 was on and smiled a little. I loved this movie.

Few moments later, Jasper walked into the room with a bowl full with popcorn and two cokes in his hands.

"Did you already choose a movie?'' He asked putting the bowl down and handing me the coke. I thanked him and sat down on the couch.

''I think we'll just stick with this one."

He cocked an eyebrow. ''Are you sure?''

"Yes. I know this movie. I like it.'' He chuckled and sat down next to me. I still felt nervous around him, but I needed this feeling to distract me from everything else I was feeling right now.

When movie ended, we just turned on TV and watched whatever was on.

"What happened between you and Maria?" I asked, surprising myself.

He gaped at me and after a deep breath he looked down to his feet and spoke. "Why?"

''I think you know way." I saw him nod and I continued. "Was she really Edward's girlfriend first?"

''She wasn't happy with him. I liked her a lot. I fell for her at one summer before freshman year; little did I know that she was seeing Edward as well. It was an unpleasant surprise when I found out that his new found girl was my Maria. So I let her go, but one day she texted me that she needed to talk. When I met up with her, she told me she didn't love him and he was just a mistake and she wanted to be with me. I don't know what fucked up game she was playing with us, but thank God it didn't ruin our friendship, until..."' He swallowed and looked at me.

"Do you think later Edward did that on purpose?"

''Sleep with her? I guess. He hates it when someone takes his things." I didn't know if he was telling the truth or just saying that to change my mind about my opinion of Edward. But something inside of me told me that I couldn't trust either of them.

''Are you still seeing Alice?'' I suddenly asked making him look up.

"Why?''

"Are you?"

"No."

I simply nodded and turned my head back to the TV.

* * *

''So our fake IDs will be ready on Friday. Are you girls excited?" Emmett asked, swinging his hand around Rosalie's shoulders.

It made me feel happy to see the way they both acted around each other. They were really meant to be and he really as the one for her, I could feel that with my gut.

"Definitely." She said with a big smile on her face. After my talk with Jasper, I decided to not to tell Rosalie. Not right now until I myself knew what exactly was going on with Edward, Jasper and me.

"How about you, Bella?"

I looked up to Emmett. "Of course." I simply said and looked back down on my lunch.

Few minutes later, other boys came to join us too. Just like yesterday, Jasper sat by my side leaving Edward sitting across from me. Edward didn't bother to bug me anymore and I was kind of thankful for that. I was still angry at him and at this situation so it was best for him not to ask me what was wrong, I was scared that I would say things that I would regret.

''Feeling better today?'' Jasper asked me, nudging my side.

"'A little." And I did. Maybe things still weren't clear as crystal, but I felt better hearing this story from him. That assured me that it was true. The only thing left was figuring out if one of them were playing me or their feelings really were true.

''That's good. I hate to see you upset." This small sentence made me feel a little better so I smiled at him.

When bell rang, Edward didn't bother to wait for me; instead he just got up and left, without even a glance at my direction which made me feel kind of bad knowing that maybe he was angry at me.

The day went on in a blur because all my thoughts were circling around the two boys that had completely messed up my mind and my life. I couldn't even sleep. I was up all night thinking about them. Mostly about Edward. He didn't seemed like the guy who would lie to a girl just to get back at his friend, but seeing him hugging Alice like that really meant that things weren't right as they needed to be.

The Friday came fast and we were all in PA in Emmett's cousin's house.

"I'm calling dibs on Rosalie."' Emmett said looking right at me.

"Is that okay?'' Rosalie asked. It wasn't because that left James, Jasper, Edward and me, so it meant I will need to share the room with one of the boys and since James got Victoria with him, I needed to stay with Jasper or Edward. But being good friend I nodded and offered her a smile.

"Thanks." She answered, snuggling closer to Emmett.

"I can share a room with you if that's okay?'' Jasper looked at me warily hoping he hasn't crossed the line.

''Sure."

When we got up to our room, I thanked God when I noticed that there was a couch, too so I wouldn't be able to share a bed with Jasper. Not that I had something against him but I just really didn't feel like sharing a bed with a boy anytime soon.

''I will take the couch." He announced and I nodded, not looking at him. I almost didn't notice him, but he was already by my side, holding his hand on my lower back. ''Are you sure you are okay?'' I nodded again causing him to sigh.

"Sit." He ushered me to the bed and we both sat down.

"Why are you so upset lately?''

"It's nothing. I promise.'' I put on my best fake smile.

"Just tell me if anything is bothering you, I'm here to listen.''

After few hours, we were all ready to leave. We took two cars and I got lucky to drive with Rose, Em and Jazz. I had been avoiding Edward all week and he hadn't tried to talk to me either so that left me wondering if he really had any feelings for me or not.

I couldn't understand it. If he liked me, why hadn't he talked to me or try to find out what was going on?

Our fake IDs worked great and we got in without any trouble. The club was huge and full with people. We found a booth for all of us and sat down. We decided to have few drink before we hit the dance floor. The party's theme was "College" so instead of pool tables there were beer pong tables and hot waitresses with student uniforms.

''So I've noticed you've been ignoring Edward for quite a while, I hope it's not of because I had told you?'' James leaned in and asked me.

"Part of it. Its complicated and I really don't want to talk about it today."

"As you say, doll, but you should know that he's been upset over that.'' He announces and leans back to Victoria. This small sentence made my heart rush a little faster. Edward was upset because I've been ignoring him, so why didn't he just come to me and tell this himself? Why act so cold?

''Let's go smoke, babe." Rosalie pulled me up by my hand and dragged me out of the club. Once we were out, she lit two cigarettes and handed me one. "Okay, I will tell you something, but don't freak, okay?''

I nodded, eager to find out what she was talking about.

"I think I'm in love with Emmett."

"That's not a surprise." My words took her by surprise as she raised her eyebrows. ''I mean, since the day we sat with them at lunch, you two have been attached by the hip.''

"I guess you are right. I haven't told him though. I'm scared he will freak out."

''He won't. I can see that he really loves you, too."

''You think?''

"I know."

I knew I wasn't the best judge in my love life and I couldn't figure out what was going on with Edward or Jasper, but this one I knew for real. Emmett really was in love with Rose. I've never seen a boy look at the girl in the way Em looked at her.

''I hope you are right. I think I'm gonna tell him once we head back." She takes another drag of her smoke and then looks at me. "'So why are you ignoring Edward? He looks like a lost puppy."'

''He doesn't. And I promise I will tell you once we are back."' She made me pinky promise it before we turned to head back inside, but before I could walk in I felt an arm wrapping around my hand.

"You scared me.'' I told him, holding one hand over my chest.

"Come with me.'' I nodded and followed him back outside.

''I know I shouldn't do this right now, but I can't hold it in any longer. I love you Bella."


	19. Chapter 19

I sat down on the bed, griping the edge of it tightly.

''Talk to me." He stood in front of me, looking down at me. When he had pulled me out with him, I would have never expected to hear those words coming out from his mouth. I mean James had mentioned it, but I had never really thought that it was true.

''Bella." He lifted my chin so that my eyes could meet his.

''I don't know what to say'' was the only thing I managed to get out. I dropped my gaze back down on the floor and tried to get my mind to concentrate on the nights' events. After he had said what he said, I had told him that I was no longer in the mood for party so he brought me back to Royce's place.

''I'm sorry.'' His voice was sad and filled with regret.

''Don't be. You can't feel sorry about the feelings you can't control. Things like that just happen, we can't help it. It's not like you made yourself fall in love with me.'' I tried to make him feel better and I meant every word I said. It wasn't his fault just as it wasn't my fault that I'd fallen for two guys at the same time.

''No. _You_ did. Your wonderful personality and beauty made me fall in love with you. I tried to fight these feelings for a long time, but I can't anymore.'' By this moment he was sitting right beside me. For the first time in a while, I felt comfortable enough with him so I put my head on his shoulder.

''What now?'' I manage to ask, lifting my head. I turned so his lips were just inches away from mine and the nervousness was back. I wasn't ready for this. Not at all, so I pulled away.

''I don't know. I would like to ask you on a date, but I'm afraid you'll say no." He admitted.

''Okay. Let's go on a date.'' I agreed, surprising him, because I've never been with Jasper like that. I've only hung out with him when Rosalie was around most of the time, so this was a great chance to get to know him better. The real Jasper, not the Jasper all the other girls thought they knew.

"Really? You will go on a date with me?''

"Yeah. Why not? I have nothing to lose." He smiled like I've never seen him smiling and I let out a chuckle. ''But you still have to sleep on the couch." He nodded and pressed his lips on my forehead.

"I will. Thank you for giving me a chance."

''Jasper?''

''Yeah?''

''Did you really mean what you said earlier? That you love me?''

''Yes. I meant it and I mean it. I know I've never given you any reason to think that, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I do love you. And I really want you take a chance with me, who knows, maybe we are meant to be.''

Maybe we were. Maybe we weren't. There was only one way to find out.

xzx

On Monday, Jasper had picked me up to take me to school and that had kind of thrown me off when I'd seen his car parked outside my house.

''I'm not sure you should pick me up.'' I'd told him biting my lip, hoping I didn't hurt his feelings.

''Because of Edward?''

"No, because of Rosalie.''

''Rose? Why?''

''Because, she would hate me if she finds out.''

''And what if this thing works? Will you keep it a secret from her forever?'' He'd let out a laugh.

''Remember what happened to Lauren?'' I had reminded him.

"Ah ... Lauren, right.'' He had nodded, not taking his eyes away from road.

''See.'' I'd said, wide-eyed.

''Well, chill, okay? Everything will be fucking great. For all she knows, you and I are just friends.''

"But Edward knows. He could tell her just to get back at me.''

"First, what does he know? Second – why would he get back at you?''

"He kind of figured out that you and I have something, so I told him everything and he would want to get back at me for not talking to him. And if he sees us, he will figure out that something is up, so ...''

"You think he will think that it's a lost battle for him?''

''Don't talk about me like that.''

"Sorry, Bells."

''You are forgiven. I just ... it's weird, you know? I've never thought you had any feelings towards me. I never thought Edward had, too. It's just messing with my head.''

''I've always had feelings for you. Why you think I always saved your ass? Because of Rose? No. Because you asked and I can't deny you anything.'' his small confession had made my mouth slightly drop. How had I been so blind to not to notice any of it?

''Why didn't you tell me anything?''

''Two little words: _Jacob Black._''

_Right._

* * *

Once we pulled up in the school's parking lot, I thanked God when I saw that Rosalie's car was no where in sight. I thanked Jasper for driving me to school and walked to my locker.

This weekend had changed things so much. The night Jasper and I'd talked, I'd gotten to know him a little better. He was polite, just like Edward; that was the thing I added to my list yesterday – politeness.

''Bella.'' I heard my name being called and turned around to face Jasper running my way. ''You left it in my car.'' he said, handing me my phone.

''Thanks.'' I smiled at him, but my smile faded when I saw that Edward was standing a few feet away, watching us. I let my eyes drop on the ground and I nervously bit my lip. I was ashamed that he knew that I got a ride from Jasper, but then again – if he can enjoy other women why can't I enjoy other men? Besides the one I had feelings for? So why all of a sudden was I feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I was giving Jasper a chance?

Even though I thought that my feelings for Jasper weren't anything serious I was afraid that I would later regret not giving him a chance. Maybe this could be something good.

''Edward.'' Jasper greeted him. Edward simply nodded and walked past us, not even giving me another look. I felt my heart dropping.

''I will see you at lunch?'' I nodded. ''Save me a seat?''

''Yeah."

xzx

''Are you ready?'' Jasper called from my foyer. I was up in my room getting ready for our first date.

''I will be down in a second.'' I called back taking one last glance in the mirror. I was wearing deep blue pencil blouse with black skinny jeans, completing the look with black boots and black leather jacket.

''You look beautiful, as always.'' He announced when I walked down the stairs.

''Thank you.'' I said, blushing a little. I took him in. He was wearing dark jeans with a dark, gray button down shirt and a black coat.

''Ready to go?''

''Yes.''

He opened the doors and we walked out. I locked the house before walking to his car where he already stood with passenger seat doors open waiting for me.

''Thanks.'' I said as I got in.

Later, I found myself sitting across from Jasper at the round table in a small, lovely restaurant named _Lidia._

''I didn't know about this place.'' I admitted, letting my eyes wander around the place.

The restaurant was relatively fancy, but nothing too grand. The lights were dimmed, creating a beautiful orange glow across the restaurant.

''It just opened. Lovely, isn't it?''

''It is.''

Jasper reached for my hand and held it, I couldn't say I wanted to pull it away, but it was different feeling from how Edward's touch made me feel and that scared me. What if I was wrong about all the feelings I got when Edward and I touched? What if it all was just a make believe made up in my head?

When Jasper touched me, there were no sparks or electricity, but it was definitely something. Like I felt...I don't know, his touch made me feel peaceful. No nervousness, just peace and harmony between us. I felt like I could breathe again after a long time.

''What's wrong?''

''Nothing is wrong, Jasper." I offered him a smile and he let his hand squeeze mine tighter.

''Then I'm glad about it.''

Once we ate, we decided to take a walk around the Port Angeles. The night was lovely and warm. The streets were crowded since it was Friday night, but that didn't disturb us at all. We were mostly in to our own little world. I let him hold my hand as we walked down the street talking about nothing important, just laughing and enjoying ourselves. And it surprised me how natural it felt being with him, I guess it was needless to say that it scared me a little, too, because I wasn't ready to feel that way with him since I've already felt like this with Edward a week ago and thank kind of bugged me. It shouldn't be this way, I should like only one guy. But I couldn't help it that both of these guys meant something to me.

Even though I saw Edward with Alice, I still didn't know what was going on with them, I knew only facts that James and Jasper had told me and the thing that they have been fighting over the same girl most of their time as friends, first it was Maria, then it was me and now it was Alice. About the Alice part, I was still unsure. I mean Jasper obviously wasn't seeing her anymore, but still – why was she at Edward's place?

''I'm having really great time with you, Jasper.'' I admitted, looking right into his eyes.

''I'm very happy, Bella.'' He looked at me like he never had before. ''I want to kiss you so bad right now.'' We both looked at each other for seconds that felt like years before I spoke ''Then kiss me.''

**Okay, don't be mad. Its just something that needed to happen eventually. Bella is very confused when it comes to her feelings towards both of these guys and it would be unfair not to give Jasper a chance. **

**Thank you for reading and thanks to my wonderful Beta - imasupergirl2 **


	20. Chapter 20

Jasper pecked me on my lips and stood up. ''I will go get something to drink. Do you want anything?''

''No, I'm fine.''

Since our first date, we had been together for a month now. Not together _together_, but we spend most of our free time with one another, not putting any labels on it. I wasn't afraid that Rose would get suspicious because she was never around, since she had told Em that she loved him; he had answered with the same thing and they've been stronger that ever and inseparable.

I missed her though – spending time with her and watching _Dancing with the stars_.

Jasper had been great and it wasn't awkward with him at all. I was really falling hard for this guy, but I still couldn't say that I loved him back. It just didn't felt right so soon to feel that way since I was still hung up on Edward. I knew I shouldn't be, but I couldn't help it; whenever he was around, there was this explainable pull.

Once he was back from kitchen, he sat back down on the couch and I snuggled closer to him, pecking his cheek.

''In a million years, I would never have thought we would sit like this and I could kiss you without being afraid of the consequences.'' Jasper admitted with a smile on his face.

''Yeah, I never thought I would be with you, too. It's weird actually. Not that I don't like it; it just takes some time to get used to it since it all started right from nothing at all.''

''Yeah, you hated me.'' I saw his face turning from happy to sad and I took it in my hands caressing it.

''I didn't hate you, I just...We were friends one minute, the next thing I know I slept with you. Then you date this Alice girl and then you say you love me. It was just so unexpected to hear.''

''Well, it's all history now.'' He kissed me after that and I smiled in to his kiss.

''I love you." He whispered against my lips, causing the shivers run down my spine and making my stomach feel all ticklish.

''Jasper?"

Suddenly we broke apart from each other, muttering 'shit' both at the same time.

In no time, Rose was standing right behind us, eyeing us suspiciously. ''Bella?''

''Finally, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you.'' I tried to sound annoyed.

Rosalie cocked and eyebrow at me. "Why didn't you call?"

''I left my phone at home.'' I lied.

''Why didn't Jasper call then?''

Now we were screwed. I looked at Jasper, searching for help, but he was useless.

''Wh -'' I began to try to make up some lies, but she cut me off.

''It doesn't matter. Guys, there's a crisis. It's Emmett's birthday next week and I only found out today; we need to plan a party for him. Jasper, why didn't you tell me?

"I thought you knew.'' He excused himself.

''I didn't. Now I do and we are screwed. I mean I'm his girlfriend, I should've known.''

''Rose, calm down, it's no big deal. There's still a week left, we can plan it just perfect.'' I tried to calm her down.

''What did you want?''

''Hmm?''

''You said that you were waiting for me, there must have been a reason.''

''Oh, I wanted to borrow that red dress with one strap.''

''You know I won't mind, you know where my closet is.'' She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

''Well, I just know how you love that dress so much, so I just waited for you to get home.''

''Oh, yeah, sure. You can take it. Okay, call Edward and James, we need to get this done.''

xzx

''It's Emmett; what's there to plan? Just bring booze and he will be just fine.'' James spoke, earning laughs and 'yeah's from Jasper and Edward.

''No, guys. I'm his girlfriend, I should plan something really great for him.'' Rose argued.

''Party will be just enough.'' This time Edward spoke.

''No, it won't.'' She said, louder than necessary.

"'Okay guys, you are his closest friends, what does Emmett like?" I asked them.

''He likes girls, booze and good party.'' James spoke, getting an eye roll from me.

''And besides that?''

'''He likes sports.'' Edward said, not looking at me.

''Great. We will take him to a game, no ... better. Let's go skiing. It would be nice and romantic for both of you, Rose.''

''Great. Bella. I like your idea. Let's throw a party and then when the fall break comes, we will go skiing.'' Rosalie looked happy and I felt like my job here was done so I stood up and told everyone that I was leaving.

''Do you need a ride?"

I looked down at Edward, my mouth wide open and face shocked. He noticed I was gaping at him like an idiot when he spoke again '' I noticed your car isn't outside, so...'' I was about to spoke when Jasper stood up and came to stand next to me.

''I already told her I would give her a ride home.'' Suddenly I felt like it was deja vu. There was a brief tense moment between them before Edward simply nodded and turned his gaze away from us.

I felt my stomach in knots as I exited the room. This was the first time Edward and I spoke, we didn't even exchanged hi's anymore.

Xzx

''I miss spending time with you.'' I admitted to Rosalie.

''Aw, babe, I'm so sorry, it's just...''

''You are in love. I get it.''

''Yeah, but still I should make some time for my girl here.'' She said, hugging me tightly. ''I'm sorry I've been a bad girlfriend to you, babe.'' This made me feel even worse about doing what I've been doing behind her back.

We were entering the small Forks Diner to get some food this evening. The place was crowded which was a surprise because it usually wasn't. We sat down in the nearest booth we could find, and the waitress came to take our orders.

''So, I rented the whole house for all of us, the resort is like four hours from here with a car.''

''Oh, fantastic, four hours in a car. Yay.'' I said, statistically. I heard the little bells ringing, signalizing that someone had entered the diner and automatically looked over my shoulder. I shouldn't have, though.

What I saw made my stomach go upside down. Coming in was Edward with his hand swung over Alice's shoulders. I guess I wasn't wrong after all. I turned away from them, not wanting to ruin my appetite.

Suddenly I began to wonder, how could he say and do things like that if he wasn't meaning it seriously at all. What was the point then?

''Oh, Edward.'' Much to my dismay, Rosalie's hand was up in the air showing them to come over here.

''Scoot.'' She demanded me. I clenched my teeth and scooted over making more space for only Alice to sit down next to me.

''Hi Rose, Bella. It's nice to see you again.''

''Yeah. You, too.'' Rosalie said in a sweet voice, making me want to throw up.

''So Eddie, listen...'' She began to tell him her plans for fall break so I turned my full attention to my lunch, not giving two shits about what they were talking about. All I knew was that I wanted to get out of here, like right now. I had managed to ignore them completely until I heard Rose saying. ''Maybe you want to come, too, Alice?'' _The fuck?_

''Oh, I don't know. It would be weird.'' Thank God she has some brains in her small pretty head.

''Why? We all know you and Emmett likes you;hell everyone likes you_.'' Speak for yourself, Rose, _I barked in my head shooting daggers at her.

''Well, then, I will go.''

''Super.''_ NOT._

I was grateful when they both decided to leave because Edward needed to take Alice shopping.

''Isn't she nice? I was upset when Jasper told me that they aren't seeing each other anymore. I really liked her, she would be really great sister in law.'' Rosalie's statement caused me to chock on my coke. "God, Bella, are you okay?''

''I'm fine.'' _Great_. If I hadn't been scared to tell her about Jasper and I before, I was definitely terrified now.

Xzx

I was sitting in my bed, looking out the window watching the wind making small tornadoes from leaves. I let the single tear slip down my cheek. I was so confused that I didn't know what was real anymore. Were my feelings for Jasper real? Or was he just some safe place for me because I couldn't have Edward?

I needed to figure it all out. I couldn't go on like this anymore, doubting myself. I couldn't lead Jasper on, making him believe into something that maybe wasn't even real. But I couldn't deny that I was happy with him. I truly was. The only thing standing in the way was Edward. So I did only reasonable thing. I grabbed my car keys and ran downstairs, but once I opened the doors, I stumbled right into someone.


	21. Chapter 21

"Rose, you scared me to death. What are you doing here?" I tried to catch my breath.

"Well, you scared the shit out of me, too ." She exclaimed, just as flushed. "I brought you this? Remember, you wanted to borrow it?" She said, holding up the red dress.

"Thanks." I said remembering my lies from earlier.

"No problem, I wanted to hang out with you, anyway, since we barely see each other these days." She added a smile and then looked me over. 'Are you about to go somewhere?"

_Think, Bella, think._

"Um I just wanted to check the mailbox. It can wait." I lied. Again. To my best friend. I felt like such an ass. "Come in." I stepped away from doors and let her in, kicking off my boots.

"Great. We could watch a movie or...better." She said, holding up the DVD of one of the first seasons from Supernatural and grinning widely.

"Oh, how could I say no to the Winchester Brothers."

We both laughed and went up to my room. We would've watched it in the living room, but in my room, it was much cozier.

"Oh, we should get a snack." I suggested once we were up in my room. Rose rolled her eyes and pushed herself off of the bed she just sat on and followed me downstairs to the kitchen.

"So, what's up with you?" She asked, surprising me.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You feel so distant lately as if you were hiding something. Are you?" She eyed me suspiciously, making me feel nervous.

_Did she know something? Is that why she is here?_

"Nothing is up, Rose." I lied again. making me feel worse and worse every minute.

"Okay, if you say so, but you know you can tell me anything." She sounded sweet and soothing. But I was still afraid to tell her what really had been going on in my life. I needed time to really figure things out before I go and tell her that I'm seeing her brother.

"What do you want?" I asked, opening the refrigerator.

"Oh, I've been on a diet for three weeks so I'm freaking starving, I want everything."

"Everything it is, then." I let out a laugh.

"Don't laugh. Homecoming is near and I have to get into my new dress." Homecoming. Right. "Do you already have a date, Bella?"

"No. I think I will sit this one out."

"You can't! It's our senior year, babe."

"Why does it matter anyway? Its just a dance."

"It's not just a dance. Bella, who are you?" She joked, earning an eye roll from me.

I just can't see the point in all of this." I lied. I wanted to go. The problem was did I really wanted to go with Jasper? And not because we were hiding, but because I still wasn't sure of my feelings. It was not love. That I knew for sure.

"Okay, we are set. Let's go."

"Wait. Is this Jasper's shirt?"

I felt the cold sweat escaping my skin. I turned around and faced Rosalie holding up Jasper's white and blue striped shirt. She knew it was his because she hated it so much and she knew it wasn't my father's because he only wore one color shirts and besides, he wasn't even home.

"Where did you get that?" I decided to go with Stupid Bella.

"Under the table?"

Shit. He must forgot it here when we first decided we are ready_ to do the nasty._ It was just few days ago when I decided I wouldn't wait any longer and see where it had been going. I'd had my needs and so had Jasper so we had just went with the moment.

Yes. In the kitchen. On the floor.

"He must have forgotten it here when he repaired my plumbing system." I lied, frowning at my own lies. _Way to go, Bella._

"Plumbing?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah."

"Jasper can do that?"

"Sure. Now let's go watch Supernatural." I said, grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs with me. I knew my lies would catch up with me someday.

Xzx

"I love to spend my Sunday mornings like this." I said, inhaling the air which smelled like coffee, fresh toasts and pancakes.

"Yeah, me, too."

Jasper and I have been coming here to Forks Diner every Sunday since we began to sneak around. First it wasn't on purpose, we had just kind of ran in to each other, but after that, we made it our tradition to come here on Sunday mornings, because we knew no one could ever see us here early like this on Sunday. Well, none of our friends, anyway.

"I like how you don't wear make up and tie your hair up in a messy bun like this." He said, tucking the loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

"You do?" I blushed a little, and looked down on the table, biting my lip.

"Yeah, this means you are comfortable with me."

"Yeah? Or you just saying that to your own benefit?" I teased him, making him chuckle a little.

"No. It's true." He defended himself with a smile on his face and leaned closer.

"Maybe it is." I leaned closer to allow him to kiss me on the lips quickly.

He pulled away, but his stare kept lingering somewhere behind me. I turned around to look at what had gotten his attention.

I wish I didn't.

Edwards was standing right behind us with Alice right next to him.

"Oh, hey, guys." She said in a sickening sweet voice.

"Hi." We both said at the same time.

"Do you mind if we join you?" _There is like fucking four free booths, go and find one._

"Of course not." Fucking Jasper and his politeness.

"Awesome."

"Oh, I will just go sit next to Bella so you -" She cut him off.

"Don't be ridiculous." She sat down next to him, leaving Edward with no other option than to sit next to me.

"What are you getting?" She asked to Edward, once she opened her menu.

"Um ... I will take the toast, I guess."

"Great. I will take pancakes and we can share with each other."_ I want to fucking vomit._

"So, where are Rose and Em?" She asked, making Jasper and I lock eyes.

"Um, Rose loves to sleep in late. Just like Emmett." Jasper spoke. Alice simply nodded and then turned her attention to the waitress who came to take our orders.

Edward being with Alice drove me crazy. But more crazy made me the fact that the night I wanted to go see him Rose appeared at my door. Was this the universe telling me that there's no chance for us to be together? Was Jasper really the one I should be with?

I mean, things with Edward had started off really great so why did he gone on and started to date Alice? What does she have that I don't?

And then it hit me. I wasn't seeing Jasper because I wanted to give him a chance. I just wanted to prove myself again that someone wanted me and if he can get another girl I can get another boy just like that, too.

I looked over at Jasper and he smiled at me warmly. How could I not love this guy? He was amazing. He was warm, loving and caring. And I was simply a bitch who didn't know what she wanted.

I just needed to find out the easy way of how to break it to him. I needed to tell Jasper that I couldn't do this any longer. I've been bouncing from boy to boy and I could no longer keep doing this. It's not fair; not to him, not to me and not to Edward.

"So, Bella, do you have a homecoming date?" She asked, eyeing me and Edward at the same time. Why was she looking at Edward? Had he not asked her yet and was this her way to remind him to do so?

_What a sneaky bitch._

"Um, no. I don't."

"'You don't?" Jasper asked, faking surprise.

"Yeah I mean you are very beautiful." Alice complimented me adding a sweet smile. _Go to hell Alice._

"Speaking of homecoming. After that, there is party for Emmett." I tried to change the subject.

"I know." She said and I smiled at her politely. "Rose already invited me." She announced proudly with a wide grin. I'm helping her decorate."

My fucking smile just dropped on the floor.

"Great."

xzx

"I need to talk to you." I finally got out after the millionth time of trying.

After eating the breakfast, we went to my place to watch a movie and spend some alone time. But in my head, we weren't alone at all. There was Alice and Edward, as well. My mind was going around us four, trying to figure things out.

Why did Jasper and Alive break up? If they hadn't broken up, would Edward and I have been together? With these thoughts, I couldn't be possible be seeing Jasper anymore. It wasn't fair.

"Yeah? What is it?" He sat up straight, taking my hands and looking at me before placing small kiss on my forehead.

"Um, it's about us." I admitted, looking down on my hands. I tried to find the easiest way to say that we were not working out the way I had imagined before.

"Oh. I need to talk to you about us, too."

_Great. He wants to break it off, too. I will just let him handle this thing._

"You go first." I encouraged him, by placing my hand on top of his.

"I want you to be my girlfriend."


	22. Chapter 22

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah." He said excitedly, looking at me hopefully.

"Jazz ... isn't it too soon?"

"Well, Homecoming is just around the corner. And I really want to take you and let everyone see that you are my girl. Let's go tell Rose tonight and let us finally be happy and carefree."

God kill me now. Just when I want to tell him I'm about to end this thing he wants me to be his girlfriend.

"jasper. I'm happy and grateful that you are so proud of me, but you shouldn't be."

"Why not?" The frown appeared on his face as he spoke those words.

"Because," I took in a deep breath. "Because I was about to tell you that I don't think it's working out." When I looked up my eyes met his and I think my heart just broke a little. He looked sad and totally shocked about what I had just told him.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"What are you saying?"

"That we should end this. It's for the best."

"End what? We haven't had a real relationship yet. Only thing there is to end is quit sneaking round."

"Jasper, I know you love me, but I don't feel the same and I don't want to string you along. I hoped that I would fall in love with you, but it's just not there. I like you. A lot, but ever since I broke up with Jake, I've been bouncing around you and Edward -"

"This is about Edward, then? God I knew you are in love with him. Its always him."

"No. That's not it. I just ... I'm not sure about my feelings. I haven't had a real time to myself, to think about things and about what I'm feeling. You asked for a chance and I gave it to you. You knew there was only two options – it's working or it's not. And from my side of the story, I can really tell you that it's not working. Yes, I have a really great time with you and I like hanging out with you and you are a really great guy, but I'm just not falling in love with you. I needed time -"

"You had time."

"No, I didn't. One month is not enough time. It's been two months since I broke up with Jake. With Jake and I, it was horrible, it ended badly and I just went to look for a comfort. I didn't know what game I started to play until I was too deep and fell for two guys at the same time."

"Bella, just ... think about it. Have you been happy with me in this past month?"

"Of course."

"Then why you want it to end?"

"I told you I don't know what I feel exactly. Maybe I'm just dazed and confused. I need to stand on my own two feet for a time to figure out what I need."

"Okay. If you get the time you need, is there a chance that you will give me another chance?"

The thing was. I knew I didn't want to be his girlfriend. And the truth was I wanted to keep him linger just like he was my back up plan. And I felt horrible for that.

"Maybe." I know, I'm a horrible person.

"'Okay. I will go now, but please, think about us, okay? Do you really want to end this?"

I nodded and watched him leave. When I finally heard the front door shutting I let out a breath and lied down on my bed looking at the ceiling.

Ever since the senior year began, I kind of lost myself. It was like I just woke up and was looking back at the dream. I felt like I was living zombie, going on with my life these past few months. Only except when I was with Edward. He pulled me up when I was down. He made me feel things I've never felt before and he showed me that he cares and he never ever tried to pull me in bed with him, so I thought maybe he really wanted to be with me. Then why did he choose Alice?

Then there was Jasper. He came in just into the right time again. He told me he loved me and I let him believe that I could love him, too. But I couldn't.

Because of Edward.

I didn't needed time to figure out things or feelings. I already knew who I wanted.

I wanted Edward. It was too bad he didn't want me.

Xzx

It was Wednesday already. Things between me and Jasper have been good. We weren't sneaking around anymore and we were trying to be friends. Things were a little awkward, but Jasper managed to make me feel relaxed and comfortable with him. It was like he had this great ability to affect peoples feelings. It was truly amazing how calm he made me feel.

"My offer is still on the table." He said, leaning against the locker next to mine. I was about to argue and tell him that I couldn't be his girlfriend. when he kind of sensed that I had wrong idea, so he spoke again. "About homecoming. Do you want to go with me?"

I thought about for a few seconds and told him I would. What was the harm, right?

"Awesome. I hope it won't be weird to you."

"No. Just two friends hanging out."

"Yeah." He smiled, but I knew he was upset about it a little. Why would he be? I knew how he felt right now, but I knew he will find someone who would love him just like he deserved.

"Are you ready?"

"Yep."

As we entered the lunch room, our friends, except for Rose, were already in their seats talking about something.

"Hey, guys." I greeted them once we sat down.

"Hi." Everyone said, pulling out of their conversation. Edward looked at me and for the split moment, I felt all warm inside before he looked at James and chuckled, shaking his head.

"What were you guys talking about?" Jasper tried to break up whatever was going on between him and Edward.

"About homecoming. I suggested we could go back to Hales place for a little after party." James said, winking at me. Right, Emmett didn't know about his surprise party so I played along.

"That would be great. Just all of us friends hanging out." I winked back at James, trying to show him how unsuspicious that looked. He rolled his eyes and patted on the seat next to his.

"Are you bringing Vicky?" I asked once I sat down.

James nodded at me. "Of course. She's the one. I'm telling you guys."

"Well, we are happy for you."

"I'm happy, too. She's amazing. Do you have a date?"

"Yeah, I'm going with my bud Jasper here." I said, nudging Jasper in a side and stealing glance in Edward's direction, hoping he had heard that I called him a "bud" and understand that there was nothing going on between us anymore.

"Oh, is this a beginning of a new romance?" Emmett asked, making the table go silent. Thank God Rose approached us that moment. Something was up with her, I could tell, because her eyes were wide open and her face looked like she was holding in a laugh.

Once she reached us, she dropped herself down on the seat next to Emmett and squealed.

"Guys, you won't believe what I just heard."

"What?" All of us said at the same time, leaning closer to her.

"Alice has crabs. Jazz, I think you should get tested."

"What?" We both shouted at the same time.

"Yeah, Bella, I think you should get, too."

What? Did she know I about me and Jasper?

"M-Me? Why?" I smiled nervously hoping she wouldn't drop the bomb.

"Well, Jake slept with her too, right?" What? When did that happen?

"He did?"

"What? You knew about them."

"I knew?"

"Yeah, I mean he practically rubbed it in your face." I'd never seen him with Edward's Alice.

"Which Alice are we talking about here?"

"Brandon, not Cullen."

"Cullen?" What the fuck?

"yeah, Edwards cousin. We are talking about Alive Brandon not the Alice Cullen."

"Cousin?"

Someone shoot me now.

"Alice Cullen, Edward's cousin. God, Bella." Rose rolled her eyes at me.

Alice Cullen? Edward's cousin? Suddenly I felt sick and stupid. How could I have not known that she was his cousin? Oh My God. If I had just talked to him instead of storming of that day... I needed to talk to him.

As soon as possible.

xzx

"Um, can we talk?"

After the discovery in the lunch room, I had made my decision to talk to him so I had waited for him to leave the table and follow him, which wouldn't seem odd because we both have the same class.

"So, she wants to talk now." He said bitterly making my heart drop.

"'I'm sorry."

"For being a bitch?"

It was harsh but it was true.

"'Yes."

"You know what I don't understand? What have I ever done to you? I did everything right. I even didn't sleep with you because I wanted to show you that I really fucking care about you. I should've though, because that's what you wanted, isn't it? You don't care for other people feelings. As soon as you don't get what you want from me, you go running back to Jasper."

"Hey, you –"

"No. It is true. I saw your face back there when Rose told Jasper to get tested. You were sleeping with him this whole fucking time and here I've been avoiding girls trying to show you that I'm not like that. But that's all you need. The guy who screws you. Fuck you, Bella. Fuck you."

"Edward, please let me explain. I'm not with Jasper. I couldn't because –"

"Are you telling me you won't let him fuck you?"

"Edward, it's not...Why are you even so upset? Huh? You weren't my boyfriend so you shouldn't be this angry."

"I guess you don't understand what real feelings are. When you really feel for someone, you won't toy around with him. You won't make him believe that you like him back and then ignore him for no reason."

He pushed past me, leaving me standing there with tears stinging my eyes. I'd screwed this up and I hated myself for it.

Edward hated me and that was because I had jumped into conclusions even though I should have just talked to him instead of assuming that Alice was his girlfriend which now feels gross since I found out that she was his cousin.

"What are you staring at?" I yelled at some girls, standing few feet away whispering about what they just saw.

"Isabella?"

I turned my head to face very confused Rosalie and by the look she was wearing, I could tell that she heard mine and Edward's conversation. I was royally fucked right now.

xzx

"Why didn't you just come and talk to me?" Rosalie said sincerely. I couldn't hold it in any longer and I knew there was no point because she heard our whole conversation. So I just poured my heart out to her and told her everything that has been going on, starting from the day one.

"I wanted to. You have no idea how much I wanted to, but I was scared that you would hate me." I admitted to her, earning raised eyebrows.

"You stupid girl, I would never hate my best friend." She smiled at me and put one hand around my shoulders.

"But I...me and Jasper. You told me yourself that you would prefer him with Alice." I said through sobs.

"Yeah, because I never would have, in my life, imagined that you two were attracted to each other."

"Yeah, but Lauren? She was your friend and she dated Jasper so you humiliated her in front of whole school and you told her that it was a rule not to date your friend's brother."

"I hated that bitch, period. I would never demand _you_ to stay away from Jasper if he is what you really want."

"Well, it didn't work out anyway."

"Because of Edward?"

"Mostly. It's just all so confusing. Hard, even."

"Well, no one has ever said that love is easy."

"It should be. You should meet the right person and you just know it. Just like you and Emmett."

"Well, not everyone's got it easy like that. Plus we've known each other whole lives, but we only got together now. Love takes some time, babe." I sighed and wiped my tears away. "And besides. You broke up with your long time boyfriend and you just looked for some comfort. It's not a bad thing to want to be wanted."

"Yeah, you are right. But I didn't mean to make such a mess. Edward hates me, Jasper is trying to be my friend but I know he can't and I lied to my best friend. I'm a horrible person."

"No. You are just growing up and making mistakes."

"Horrible mistakes."

"And Bells, Edward doesn't hate you. You just broke his heart, he will get over it and when he cools down, I bet he will come running after you."

"He won't. He thinks I'm a slut. You heard it yourself."

"He was angry, what did you expect? Maybe you were so wrapped up in your relationship with Jasper that you didn't notice what was going on with Edward. He was dead man walking."

"What do you mean?" I frowned at her statement.

"Have you looked at him lately? He looks like he hasn't been sleeping, he's so upset all the time, and Thank God he has Alice who picks him up."

"Right. _Cullen_ Alice."

"I still can't believe that you thought that she was his girlfriend." She laughed into my shoulder and I lightly hit her shoulder.

"It's not funny. I hated that bitch." We both laughed loudly.

"Well, it's all okay now. You know the truth." She tried to soothe me.

"That won't change anything. Edward hates me. Or he's angry at me. Whatever it is, I don't know if he could ever forgive me."

"He will. You will see."

"I will see." There was a silent moment before she spoke again.

"So, you actually didn't needed my red dress? Can I have it back, then?" We laughed again and I was glad that she knew everything and she didn't hate me.

"Yeah, you can have it."

"And I knew there was something shady about Jasper repairing your plumbing."

xzx

"Um, hi." I said, sitting down next to Edward who completely ignored me. "I get that you don't want to talk to me, but I really need to explain." Ignorance again. "Edward, please."

Finally he looked up at me and now I got what Rose had been talking about; he was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes and I immediately felt sorry for him.

"What could you possibly want, Bella?" He asked through his teeth.

"To talk to you."

"Go talk to Jasper." He spat back, looking back at his notebook.

"Stop acting like a child."

"Stop bugging me, then."

"I really need to talk to you, Edward."

"But I don't. I hope you can really enjoy the disappointment."

"Don't be like that. I know I made a mistake, but you should really hear me out."

"As I already told you yesterday – fuck you, Bella. I'm not catching on your sweet, innocent act again."

"Stop being so harsh. It's not like you have never screwed things about. I know about Maria."

"Well, then good for you."

"There's nothing you want to say?"

"'Not really."

I gave up. I wasn't giving up forever, but for now. Rose was right, I needed to let him cool off and he would come talk to me when he was ready.


	23. Chapter 23

Homecoming. I should be been ecstatic about it because I was a senior and I should enjoy it. I should be extremely happy because I was nominated for the Homecoming Queen, too, this year. But I was far from happy. I was a little ball of sadness.

Edward still rejected me whenever I wanted to talk to him and I felt like giving up. I knew I deserved all of this and that he had all rights to hate me. But I still wanted to talk to him and explain to him why all of this had happened. First because of the misunderstanding and second – I was stupid. I should've known better than to jump into conclusions. I was growing up and I needed to learn things. Like talk things through, not storming off like a child and pretending I knew everything when I actually didn't.

When I saw him with Alice instead of running off, I should've pushed that doorbell and talked to him. All I did by running of was mess things up. Badly.

Now I was standing in my room in front of a mirror looking myself over. The dress was beautiful. It was perfect shade of blue. The way the fabric flowed was elegant. If words could describe perfection, this would be it. The dress molded my torso beautifully, complimenting my feminine shape. It was the kind of dress which girls imagined they would wear if they were princesses. I had my princess dress; too bad I didn't have my Prince.

"You look amazing. I like that you decided to tie your hair up. You look like you've been just pulled out of a fairytale." Rose spoke, looking me over with gashing expression on her face. She looked wonderful, too, in her red dress which was pretty similar to mine only hers had straps covering her shoulders. Her hair was down and they floated down her shoulders and back. She was beautiful.

"Thanks. You look amazing yourself."

"You look fabulous, so tell me, why this sadness is covering your lovely face?"

"You know why."

"Don't let him ruin your night. When he sees you, he will regret not giving you a chance."

"I doubt it, but thanks for your soothing words." Rose smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. "Everything is set for Emmett's party?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Yes, that why I told them to meet us at your house."

"Right."

"Don't be like that. Please stop being upset. I want this night to be perfect and tomorrow we will go on this wonderful trip. I really want you to enjoy yourself."

"I will. Don't stress about me."

"Oh, I think the boys are here." She spoke as soon as we heard the car pulling up. "Are you ready?" She asked, holding my shoulders in her hands. The look on her face showed that she was worried about me and I smiled, showing her that there was nothing to worry about.

"Let's go." I smiled, nodding my head towards the door. Rosalie linked her hand with mine and we walked downstairs. Jasper and Emmett were already invited themselves in and stood by the door looking up at the stairs. My eyes met Jaspers' as I began to walk downstairs. He looked happy even though he was still hurt about my decision. I knew that because whenever I looked at him, I caught his eyes when he looked me over, whenever it was in the classroom or at lunch or I would be just in the hallway passing by. His stare looked sad even though he usually pressed a smile on his lips.

"You look wonderful." Jasper told me as soon as I was by his side.

"You look wonderful, too." I spoke as I looked him over, he was wearing black suit with a white shirt under it and a black tie to complicate the look.

"Are you ladies ready?" Emmett asked, already holding Rose by her waist. I had no doubt that this couple would make it out of high school and all through college. They were meant to be. Just the look on their faces when they were side by side showed that there was some bigger will holding them tight together and that gave me hope that I would find someone like that for myself one day.

"Yes." We both answered his question and in a few minutes we were already sitting in a limo. Yes. Rose wanted a limo and whatever she wanted she got. The ride to the school wasn't long and I soon find myself standing under the ball lights which made my dress sparkle a little. It was a prefect moment like in a romantic movie, where girl just entered the ball room and the lights were shining down on her as she looked for the love of her life who was looking right back at her and then they would make their way towards each other and tell them they loved them and they would kiss. But in my case I stood there awkwardly nibbling on my dress with a wonderful guy next to me which heart I had broken because of my stupidness and the one guy I truly loved didn't wanted to even see me.

"Oh look there's James." Rosalie said pointing towards the table which was just a few feet away from us. James was sitting at the round table with Victoria by his side. She looked beautiful. With her red long hair flowing down her shoulders and the dark red dress hugging her body. But what took my by surprise and drew a frown on my face was the blond girl sitting next to her. I haven't seen her around here. She was beautiful with strawberry blond hair and slim body.

"Who's that?" I asked turning my head at Rosalie.

"I don't know." She spoke slowly, eying the girl at our table. "But let's go find out." She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the table with the boys following us.

"Good evening." She greeted everyone at the table. All three of them looked up and my eyes met with the strangers'. She was mesmerizing, like a Barbie, her hair was shiny and her eyes bright blue.

"Hey." James said standing up and giving us girls a hug. "You girls look beautiful." he said with a smile on his face before sitting down.

"Hi." Victoria greeted us and added a small wave.

"Won't you introduce us?" Rose asked turning her head towards James.

"That's Stacy, my date." Edward spoke taking his place behind her chair.

"Well, lovely to meet you." Rose said offering her a smile. I just stood there frozen looking at Edward who clearly avoided me because his eyes never met mine as he overlooked all of us.

He was dressed just like all the other boys, but I couldn't deny that he looked more handsome than any of them. Edward could manage to pull of every look. It was impossible how this boy looked good in whatever he was wearing.

"Bella." I looked at Jasper, only now noticing his hand hanging in the mid air. "Will you dance with me." I smiled politely and took his hand as I let him lead me to the dance floor.

Jasper placed one hand on my waist and with other, he took my hand and we began to sway at the music.

"You look beautiful tonight." He whispered in my ear.

"You already told me that, but thank you."

"There aren't enough times to tell you that." I hated how he could be so sweet and loving all the time and it hurt because I couldn't respond with the same feelings. I wished I was in love with him, but I wasn't. I was in love with a boy who's date was a Malibu Barbie, even her name sounded like Barbie's name. "I know it's hard for you to see him with another girl. Believe me, I know that."

"Can we not talk about this?"

"Whatever you want, princess." He responded and I let my head drop on his shoulder as I let him lead.

"Is everything ready for tonight's party?" I asked, already knowing the answer, but I really didn't wanted to talk about feelings tonight.

"Yes, everything is set up."

"'That's great. Did Alice help?"

"Yeah, she came by and helped Rose to put up some decorations and stuff like that."

"Hey, why did you stop seeing her?"

"I don't know. I guess I'd still had hope that you and I would make it somehow."

'I kept silent not wanting to continue this conversation. We kept dancing till the song ended.

"Can I cut in?" I lifted my head to meet James standing by our side.

"Sure." Jasper spoke as he let go of me and just in a split second I was held by James.

"Won't Victoria be angry?" I teased him, causing him to laugh lightly.

"No. She's not like that and besides, she knows she's the only one for me."

"That must be a great feeling."

"It is. So what's up with you? Haven't heard the latest updates in your love triangle." He asked, adding a chuckle.

"Very funny, James."

"It is a little. How you all three keep dancing around each other making moves you probably yourselves don't understand. What happened, Bella? I thought you wanted Edward."

"I did."_ I still do._

"Now you don't? Does that have something to do with what I told you at your birthday?" he asked worriedly.

"No and yes. That story _did_ mess with my head, but ... it's stupid okay."

"You know you can trust me." He said in a soothing voice.

"Well, I kind of saw him with Alice and assumed she was with him now."

"Like his girlfriend?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes." I let my eyes drop on the ground, clearly embarrassed.

"You funny girl. Didn't you know shes his cousin?" By this time, he was laughing at me.

"I didn't."

"Well, now you do, so what's the problem?"

"Malibu Barbie over there."

"She's not a problem." He said in a calm tone, making me look up.

"'How do you know?"

"Trust me, Bells." He spun me around and pulled me closer. "He won't ever look at her the way he looks at you."


	24. Chapter 24

Torture. That was what I felt sitting at the same table with Edward and his Barbie. Watching him smile at her and holding her hand, whispering sweet things into her ear and her laughing in response. That all was torture and that night, I hated not being with someone so I could rub it in his face like he rubbed it in mine.

Yes, I was angry. I was angry that I needed to sit here and watch him be happy, even though that was what everyone was saying – to be happy for the one you love. I couldn't be happy that the one I love is with someone else even if it makes him happy. I just couldn't take it.

I felt more than happy when Rose announced that she was tired of this shit and now that she got her Homecoming Queen crown, she was ready to leave. Emmett was a bit disappointed because he wanted to stay and didn't want to cut the night short, but Rose told him it would be worth it so he gave in.

Juts half an hour later, I was at Rose house preparing for Emmett's party while Rose and him were at his place to get his stuff. To my surprise, Alice was already there so I had no other option than to accept her company and help her out with table setting up.

"So, how was it?' She asked in a chipper voice. Now that I knew she was actually Edward's cousin, I liked her a little better than before. But I still wasn't her biggest fan. I didn't know why; maybe because Rose wanted her to help, instead of me.

"It was fine." I answered her coldly, even though I didn't mean to; it just got it out that way.

"Just fine?" She cocked her eyebrow, looking at me.

"Yeah. Just fine." I affirmed and tried to move past her to go get another set of paper plates.

"I'm just guessing, but I think you don't like me that much." She said, following me.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, you always look upset whenever I'm around."

"Maybe I'm just a person who's upset all the time."

"Really? I doubt it because I saw you that night with Edward when we first met and you looked more than happy." _Thanks for pouring the salt on my wounds._

"I did?" I tried to play it cool.

"Yeah, I personally think you would make a great couple. You both look so cute together."

"'Did you bring up the cups from the basement?" I changed the subject, not wanting to talk about Edward and to my dislike, it seemed like everyone wanted to talk about just that tonight.

"Jasper's onto that. I guess you don't like talking about Edward?" _What are you? A therapist?_

"We are just in a bad place at this time and I don't really want to talk about my problems with strangers." I knew I was a bit harsh but it really started to annoy me. I needed to get my mind off of him and talking about him even more wasn't exactly solving the problem.

Alice simply nodded and let me be. After a half an hour, people started to show up and another half hour later, the place was completely crowded.

Alice actually had done the great job putting up the decorations so place looked really perfect.

"Surprise!" We all yelled as the big front door opened and Emmett came in, with Rosalie following closely behind him. The look on his face was priceless as he watched us all over with his eyes and mouth wide open.

"Guys, you remembered!" he called out pulling Rose in his hands and spinning her around.

"Happy birthday, babe." She said, before kissing him on the lips. "And tomorrow morning, we all are going to spend our holidays skiing. I hope you like skiing." She said with a bit worried look on her face.

"Of course I do. Thank you, babe."

"Happy birthday, Em." I said, giving him a hug.

Everyone else came closer, too, to wish him happy birthday so I stepped away giving them space and the minute I turned around, I was faced with Edward who was standing right behind me. To my surprise, his Barbie was nowhere to be seen and that made me kind of smile inside.

After everyone had stepped away from Emmett, we took him up to Rosalie's room where his present was and he was thrilled to see that we had gotten him a new pair of skis and a new snowboard.

"Thank you, guys, this is so cool." He said, pulling Rose in a hug.

"You are very welcome, honey." She said with a huge smile on her face.

"Come here, guys." He spread his arms, inviting us in to a group hug. Which was okay … all except for the awkward moment when I realized that I was standing right next to Edward, but to my surprise, he didn't change his position but put his hand around my shoulders as we all hugged.

Nothing had changed; there was still electricity when his hand touched my body and that made me both – sad and happy. It felt like home, feeling the things I felt when we touched and I really wanted for that to never end. I just really hoped he would feel the same about me and when his anger towards me cooled down, we could start over. And I also knew that I needed to try really hard to make him forgive me and I would do anything for that to happen.

"Okay, let's go down and party." Emmett said, straightening himself. "You really are my best friends, guys; first this party, this great present and then awesome holidays."

"So, I guess you better keep us around." James said, adding a small chuckle.

"I guess I should." Emmett laughed with him and we all went downstairs.

Once we got there, I saw most of the alcohol bottles empty so I went to grab them and threw them out, because I knew there wouldn't be too much time for us to clean this house tomorrow. My hands were full and I was about to put them all down because I knew I wouldn't be able to carry them to the garbage without dropping them, when Edward spoke, surprising me. "Here, let me help you." I stood there gaping at him, like some kind of lunatic probably, because he cocked an eyebrow at me, looking at me like I was about to do something to him.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, um thanks." I said, handing him few empty alcohol bottles after I set the all of them on the table.

When we went outside, I was walking slowly behind him, I didn't know what to do, should I talk to him; the last I had tried, I hadn't succeeded, but he had talked to me first so I should really try, right?

So I went for it.

"So, where's your date?" I asked, biting my lip.

"She went home."

"Why?"_ Great. Now I sound just snoopy._

"Why does it matter?" I hoped I didn't made him angry at me again for asking too many questions so I just let it go by shrugging my shoulders, before throwing the bottles in the dumpster.

"Sorry I asked. Clearly, you still don't want to talk to me." I said turning around and walking away, leaving him there. Not because I was a drama queen, but because I felt my eyes tearing up and I really didn't wanted to cry in front of him.

"Bella, wait." I stopped and turned around to face him.

**EPOV**

"Why?" She asked, her voice husky. She clearly wanted to cry and I felt bad for making her feel that way, but she fucking hurt me, too.

Finally the day had come as I watched Bella and Jacob's relationship fall apart, which had made me really happy. I knew that I shouldn't have built my happiness on others people's losses, but I'd been waiting for it for so fucking long.

I fell for her. Long fucking time ago – since we had been kids. I'd noticed her, but she had never noticed me in return. I'd finally decided to ask her out just few weeks before she began to date Jacob Black. I'd tried to talk to her, to show her that I liked her, but she'd ignored me whenever I'd spoken. I'd thought that that was because I'd nobody. Of course, girls didn't date just anybody.

Even though I'd known that Bella wasn't like that since she'd been dating Jacob Black (I mean, he was _nobody_), but if I would become somebody, she would notice me.

So I'd done what I had to do. I'd tried out for the basketball and football team, clearly to make friends; girls dig jocks, and jocks were the most popular guys in every school, so being in the team would make me popular and make me be somebody.

I did become popular; girls loved me. Every girl in this school wanted me, except for Bella. She'd had her eyes still strongly focused on only Jacob Black.

So the next thing in my plan was to get rid of him, gladly he did this by himself so that was easy.

The next step had been to get closer to her, since she hadn't been interested in any kind of contact with me and I needed to get to her friends.

That was when Emmett and Rose had come in.

Rose was incredibly hot and Emmett loved hot chicks, so day by day, I'd fed him with thoughts about Rosalie Hale until he was head over heels and when the school began again, he wasted no time and asked her to sit with us; of course, Bella had followed her everywhere.

My plan had been going great until I had found out that I wasn't the only one in love with Bella. That had made things pretty complicated since Jasper and I already had a bad past. I'd needed to earn her trust.

And everything had been going according to plan until her birthday party. I didn't know what had gone wrong that night, but I knew that that had driven her away from me and right into Jasper's waiting arms.

I would be lying if I said that my heart was not broken. It still was. And here she was … Standing in front of me with her eyes all watery and I want to forgive her. I wanted to walk up to her and hold her in my arms and kiss away her pain. But I was numb. Whenever I looked at her, I keep imagining her with Jasper and which made my blood boil until I felt like punching something.

It all would've worked out so great, but she just had to choose him. But seeing her walking away from me was the worst feeling. I couldn't bear to really let her go.

"Why did you make me stop?" She asked through gritted teeth,

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"For what?"

"For giving you a hard time." I just really miss you and I really want to hold you in my arms.

"I deserved it."

"Yes. You did. But I miss you."


	25. Chapter 25

"Yes. You did. But I miss you."

''You do?''

''Yes. I miss my friend.'' _Friend_. There it was again. He always calls me his friend and then goes and gets mad for me having a boyfriend. Friends don't get mad about shit like that, boyfriends do. Or the guy who's in love with you.

''Friend. So, you want us to be friends?'' I asked, to be sure that that was what he really wanted.

''Yes.'' He took a step closer. "I want to be your friend.'' I nodded and tore my eyes away from his. It was better then nothing, right?

''Okay, then we are friends, again?''

''Friends.'' He confirmed.

''So, as a friend you won't flip again if I start to date someone?'' I knew I was playing with fire, but I really wanted for him to admit that I meant more that that for him.

''So you as a friend wont flip about shit I don't even know about which made me flip out in the first place?''

''Deal.'' I said, understanding my faults in this. Maybe, it was true – I was just a friend to him and he was just mad because I was mad. But then again, all those things he had told me the other day when he had yelled at me in the hallway wasn't the kinds of things that friends felt.

But maybe it was better. To take baby steps and see what would happen and learn from our mistakes. To start over. Not everyone got that chance.

* * *

''Let me help you with that.'' Jasper said, taking the bags out of my hands.

''Thanks.''

''No problem.'' I gave him a small smile and jumped into Emmett's black jeep.

''You didn't forget anything?'' Rose checked with me one last time.

''I said I took everything I needed.'' I said, rolling my eyes at her for the fifth time today.

''Okay. Did you bring everything, honey?''

''Yes, I did, pumpkin.'' Emmett said in a sweet voice which actually kind of made me vomit. I wasn't sure if I could survive a six hour ride with this sweet couple.

''So, where is Edward, babe?''

''Oh, he will come there later. He has stuff to do.''

''Okay. I hope he won't ditch us.'' Rose said, before turning her head to us. Jasper and I were sitting in the back seat; each of us at the either side of the car.

''So, put your seat belts on, guys.'' Rose ordered.

''Sure, mom.'' I teased her, grinning widely.

''Shut up and do as I say.'' She spoke, smiling at me.

''Okay, okay.'' I put on my seat belt and Jasper did the same. I wasn't the biggest fan of seat belts. I hated them; when I put them on, it felt like someone was tackling me.

''Don't make that angry face, Bella.'' I stuck out my tongue at Rose earning a giggle from her.

''Okay, let's go. Emmett, start the car."

''James? Vicky?" Jasper called out as soon as we opened the lounge doors.

''Here!" We heard James's voice coming from somewhere further in the house.

The lounge was beautiful. It had a huge living room with a TV and a fire place and three couches with a few armchairs at each corner and two near the fire place. On the floor was carpet made of fur. On either side of the room, was a staircase which led up to the second floor where the bedrooms probably were.

''Guys, this looks awesome.'' Emmett spoke, putting down our bags. ''This house is fucking huge, too. I love it.''

''Well, this trip was Bella's idea.'' Rose said, smiling at me. Emmett turned his head and smiled at me too before leaning down and kissing Rosalie's cheek.

''Thanks, Bells, this is awesome.'' He said before turning back to Rose.

''Let's go wander around and find those two.'' Jasper said, nudging my shoulder. I awkwardly nodded my head and followed behind him. When we walked across the room, we were greeted by two doors; one was the bathroom and the other door led to the kitchen were we found Vicky and James already making dinner for us.

''Smells delicious, guys.'' I said, sneaking behind Vicky to see whats she was making.

''Pasta. Mm, I love pasta.'' I told her, earning a smile from her.

''That's great. James told me that no one liked pasta.'' She said, shooting daggers at James.

''James, everyone loves pasta.''

''I don't.'' He admitted.

''How can you not love pasta?''

''How can you love it?''

''Don't answer my question with another question.''

''Don't ask me stupid questions, then.''

I laughed and let this one go. This was a lost fight anyway.

''So, how is the house? You guys looked around or did you find another form of entertainment?'' I asked, biting my lower lip and wiggling my eyebrows. I'd noticed that I'd been in a good mood all day and I figured that it had something to do with Edward and I being friends again.

"Oh, there you guys are.'' Rose said, walking in to the kitchen. ''Mm, pasta. Delicious.'' She said, licking her lips.

''See?'' I spoke, looking at James, getting only an eye roll in response.

''Okay, let's go look around.'' I spoke, walking out the door with Jasper following me. We walked up the stairs and found that there were plenty of bedrooms for all of us and showers in every room, so that was great. The rooms weren't huge, but they were big enough to make you feel like home; they were warm, too and with very comfy beds which really made me want to lie down after this long drive but I knew that it wasn't going to happen since Rose had everything planned out already.

Once Jasper helped me take my bags upstairs, we were ready to go down to eat dinner. And I was really hungry since only thing I had eaten was a banana for breakfast.

''Dig in, guys.'' Vicky said, once we were all seated.

''This is fucking delicious.'' Emmett said, taking a bite from pasta.

''He's right.'' I said, adding a small 'Mm'.

''Guys, we actually need to go shopping.'' James spoke, making everyone look up.

''What do you mean shopping? Weren't you guys at the store?'' Rose asked, pushing her eyebrows together.

''Yeah, but we forgot most of the things you asked for.'' he confessed.

''Why?''

''When we went to the store which is near here, we figured that there was none of the things you put on your list.''

''Seriously?''

''And we forgot the booze, too.''

Rose dropped her fork on her plate and looked at James with her mouth open. "What?"

''We forgot.''

''How?''

''We were in a rush.''

''Why were you in a rush?''

''Do you really want to know, babe?'' Emmett asked, hiding a laugh.

''You're right. I don't. Okay, after dinner, we will all go shopping. All of us.''

''We can't go all; someone needs to stay and wait for Edward.''

''Bella can do it.'' Rose spoke.

''Me?'' I looked at her with terrified eyes. I knew that Edward and I had kind of called truce last night, but it was still weird for me to spend time alone with him. I felt stupid for what I did and that made me really uncomfortable around him.

''Yes, you. Now, let's eat so we make it on time before the store closes.'' Rose demanded.

After we ate dinner, I offered to wash all the dishes, too since I had to stay here, anyway. Once I was done with the dishes, I decided to go outside for a quick smoke.

The snow drifts were bigger than when we had gotten here and it was still snowing. The wind was getting rougher so it made my cheeks burn.

I lighted my cigarette and took a few drags before tossing it away, deciding that it would be better to go back inside. I wouldn't be surprised if a storm decided to come our way.

When I got in, I glanced around, looking for something to do since I was all alone. Reading looked tempting but by the way the light was twitching, I decided to better go up to my room and pack out my things.

As soon as I got upstairs, I heard a car pulling up. I thanked God before running downstairs hoping that Rose and the others were finally back, but I was wrong. The door opened and the voice I knew all too well called out, ''Hey'' into an empty room.

''Hi.'' I said, appearing on the stairs.

''Oh. Hi.'' Edward said, standing in the doors awkwardly.

''Well, come in. The others went to the store so it's just you and me.'' I spoke, walking down the stairs.

''Oh. Okay.'' He nodded.

''The bedrooms are upstairs if you want you can go settle in. I will heat up dinner for you since you must be starving.'' I announced, already walking to the direction of kitchen.

''Thanks.''

''Kitchen is here.'' I told him, pointing towards the door which led to the kitchen.

''Okay.'' Didn't he know any other words? Guess not.

* * *

''Bella?'' I looked up and saw the kitchen doors open. Edward appeared in front of me, looking handsome as always. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark t shirt, completing the look with a converse.

''You're just in time; dinner just heated up.'' I spoke, taking the plate from out of the microwave.

''Thank you.''

"Do you want anything to drink?''

''Just water will be fine.''

''Be right up.''

''It's delicious. I must say it was your doing?'' He asked, smiling. Now I felt like the old Edward and I, when he felt comfortable in my company and I felt just the same when he was around.

''You won't believe it, but James and Vicky made this.'' I sat down and put the glass of water in front of him.

''James?''

''Well, Vicky did most of the job.''

''I can see that. I don't even want to think about what would've happened if James had made this.''

''Disaster probably.'' I looked over at the clock. ''I wonder where they are. They have been gone for almost two hours now.''

''Maybe they just can't find the store.''

''Maybe.''

We sat there in silence while Edward ate his dinner. After he was done, I washed his dishes and we decided to go outside for a smoke. This time, I put on my coat because I didn't want to freeze again.

''Oh, wow.'' I said, once we were outside. The snow was so high, I knew it would reach up to Edward's knees if he stepped in it.

We decided to say in the stoop and just open the window.

''I should take out the snow shovel and clear the snow.'' Edward spoke.

''Yeah, you should. Soon, it will cover the door and we won't be able to get out.''

''Yeah, the wind is out of control, too.''

''I hope the guys are okay.''

''Okay, I will go clear the snow. You wait inside, okay? Oh, and see if you can try to start up the fire; it looks like it's getting colder.''

''Okay, I will.'' I gave him a small smile and walked back inside.

Once I was done with fire, my phone rang.

''Oh, Rose, hey. Where are you guys?''

''We're stuck. We can't get out of the city so we have to spend the night here because the snow blower isn't working.''

''Are you serious?''

''Yeah, I'm sorry. Is Edward there?''

''Yes, he's cleaning the snow, it's like all over the place.''

''Damn. Well. At least you're not alone. Tell him _hi_ from me, okay?''

''Sure.''

''We will try get there as soon as possible, babe.''

''Okay, Rose. Bye.''

''Bye.''

I put down my phone and slipped on my coat before walking outside to look for Edward.

''Edward?'' Nothing. ''Edward?'' I called louder, opening the front door.

''Yeah?'' The wind was making the snow dance all over the place so it was difficult for me to see him.

''Where are you? It's crazy out here; come back inside.'' I yelled, hoping he would hear me.

''What about the snow?'' He called back.

''Come here and I will tell you everything.''

I held the door open so Edward would see where he had to go. After a few seconds, he was in front of me, completely covered in snow.

'''You look like a snowman.'' I laughed at him, before stepping away from the door and letting him in.

''Ha, ha. So what were you going to tell me?'' He asked, brushing the snow off of himself.

''Rose and the others can't make it back today. They said the road is blocked and there's no one to clear the roads.''

''Are you serious?'' He looked at me as if I were joking.

''Dead serious.'' I admitted, holding my hands up.

''That's sad.''

''I know. It was Emmett's birthday and now he has to sleep in some cheap motel.''

''Yeah, too bad. Did you manage to make the fire?''

''Yeah, the fire is on. You just need to go look for some more logs to keep us warm. The temperature is dropping.''

''You stay here and I will go look for the logs.'' I nodded and walked back inside. The room was getting colder so I decided to look through closets and search for some plaid.

Suddenly it occurred to me. I would be staying here all alone with Edward. My stomach did a few flips and the butterflies decided to dance in my tummy. I just hoped we wouldn't get into a fight since we would have plenty of time to talk.

* * *

''The weather is a bitch.'' I heard Edward's voice coming from the living room.

''It is. I looked around and found some warm plaids. They will keep us warm if the fire goes out.''

''Great. I guest we will just need to stay closer to the chimney.''

''I guess. I will go make some hot chocolate; you must be freezing out there.''

''Thanks, that would be great.'' He spoke with a smile on his face. I nodded and he walked over the chimney to put in some more logs to make a bigger fire.

''Smells great.'' Edward spoke, entering the kitchen at the same time I poured the hot chocolate into the cups.

''Smells like childhood and Christmas.''

''Comforting.''

''Yeah.'' I smiled up at him and handed him his cup.

''Let's go sit by the fire; it's much warmer there.''

''Okay, let's go.'' I slowly followed Edward as he walked to the chimney and sat down on the ground, resting his back at the edge of the couch.

''I can't believe this happened.'' I spoke, shaking my head.

''What?''

''This, the weather, the guys getting stuck in some shitty town instead of being here with us, the electricity.'' I rolled my eyes at the last one; the electricity had gone completely and the only light we were getting was from the chimney and from the candles which Edward had found and put around the room.

''So, what's new?'' He asked, nudging my shoulder. I simply shrugged as a response. ''Come on, there has to be something.''

''No. Nothing is new, except that you and I are friends again.'' I spoke, looking down at my hands.

''Right. I'm sorry for the way I treated you.''

''No. I'm sorry I was stupid enough to think...'' I stopped in the mid sentence because I remembered that I still hadn't told him what had happened.

''To think what?'' He asked, shifting his body to face me.

''It's stupid.''

''Tell me.'' He urged me.

''Well, at my birthday, James told me the story about you, Maria and Jasper. I began to doubt you.''

''I see, so you thought what? That I was just playing you?''

''Yes. But then I felt stupid about it I just wanted to hear your side of the story so I drove to your place to talk to you and then I saw you with Alice.''

''So?''

''So, I saw you two hugging and I thought that you were with her.''

''_What_? That's just...wrong.''

''Yeah, but I didn't know that she was your cousin until recently.''

''Are you serious?''

''Yes. I thought you were seeing her so I decided to give Jasper a chance.''

''Oh my God, why didn't you just talk to me instead?''

''I don't know; I'm a girl. Girls do stupid things and I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry, I learned my lesson.''

''You really should have just talked to me.''

''I know.''

''Silly Bella.''

''Silly or not, Alice is beautiful and I thought you really liked her.''

''Even if she wasn't my cousin, it wouldn't change things, beautiful or not. Because to me, _you're_ the most beautiful girl."


End file.
